When we think about death, generally speaking, no one is very happy. But while most people feel sadness or anxiety when thinking about their own finiteness or that of their loved ones, for others the idea is terrifying. For these people, death has become the object of a phobia. Its name: thanatophobia. Panic fear at the idea of falling ill, of having a road accident, of walking in a cemetery or even of hearing the famous word that begins with the letter “m”…, the consequences of this symptom can become very disabling.
For Emilie, it all started with the birth of the first of her two children. The mother constantly fears that her son and daughter will die. “Sometimes we’re playing or we’re in the car, and I have horrible visions of going to the morgue and seeing them dead,” she says, her voice trembling. Recently she watched the movie Don’t look up, which deals with the climate catastrophe leading to the end of our civilization. Result: an uncontrollable anxiety attack. “I completely panicked, I was in tears. I had to call my partner to reassure me. »
An obsessive fear of death
“Thanatophobia does not exist in classic psychiatric classifications,” immediately warns psychiatrist Christophe Bagot. According to him, the fear of death is something deeply human. But if it becomes omnipresent, it is part of anxiety disorders such as hypochondria – the fear of having a fatal illness – or obsessive compulsive disorders – the need to perform rituals to avoid death.
“It is not a pathology but a symptom which indicates that there is suffering » which will be sought during therapy, confirms psychotherapist Nazyk Faugeras. This panic fear can concern one’s own finiteness but also that of one’s children or other people around them. In all cases, the anxiety is the same. “This obsessive fear of death returns every day, several hours a day, and the people who suffer from it have no respite,” continues psychotherapist Rodolphe Oppenheimer.
Tremors, heart palpitations and sweating
This anxiety therefore manifests itself through obsessive thoughts but also, sometimes, physical symptoms. “Generally, this takes the form of disaster scenarios,” explains the psychotherapist. So it’s mostly psychological. But when it generates too much anxiety, there can be bodily manifestations with tremors, heart palpitations, sweating. »
Emilie knows these panic attacks well. “When people talk to me about death, I get anxious and my stomach tightens. My son often wants to discuss it, so I have to overcome my fear. But when I talk to him about it, I have to force myself not to cry. » For the psychotherapist, this anxiety can be explained psychologically. “Death is a fate that cannot be escaped and cannot be controlled. When we fight against an inevitable but impossible to accept death, anxiety arises. » Emilie admits, it is this lack of control that terrifies her. “We were born to die but it’s difficult to hear it. I can’t get used to it. »
A fear that takes up all the space
And the consequences of thanatophobia can be disastrous on a daily basis. “Fear handicaps her in her relational, personal and professional life,” emphasizes Nazyk Faugeras. She comes to sabotage his existence. » This is the case for Kim*, 30 years old. For her, it all started eight years ago when, already motherless, she lost her father. Since then, she has thought about death constantly. “I can be at a friend’s party and all of a sudden I think the apartment could catch on fire and that any second I could die. »
Kim therefore feels an exaggerated fear of situations that could lead to his death. The young woman fears driving and having an accident, taking the train and it derailing, going out and being infected by someone sick. Often, when she falls asleep, she wakes up with a start. “I feel like I’m dying. »
Avoidance situations
Kim gradually became withdrawn. Today, she is no longer able to leave her home alone. “If I spot someone in the street who is seriously ill, I will change sidewalks for fear that they will contaminate me even if I know full well that it is impossible. » At the slightest headache, the young woman thinks she is going to die but does not consult a doctor. “I tell myself that if I avoid diagnosis, I avoid death. » This is what specialists call “avoidance situations”.
This irrational anxiety about death can generate profound unease. “For them, if there is no more after, the before is of no use,” summarizes Rodolphe Oppenheimer. Kim confirms this. Having been taking antidepressants for years, the young woman regrets not having consulted a specialist sooner. “The longer we let it drag on, the more it gets out of control. »Emilie has not yet taken the plunge. When she feels anxiety rising, she tries to do an activity, like cleaning, to occupy her mind. “I know I really need to go see a psychologist because it’s eating me up from the inside. »
According to Nazyk Faugeras, the treatment involves talking. ” A psychotherapy or a psychoanalysis will allow us to untie the knot at the origin of the suffering. » To help his patients, Rodolphe Oppenheimer often asks them the same question. “I ask them which is more distressing, dying one day or being forced to live in a form of eternity that would last for thousands of years, brushing your teeth, getting dressed, going to work and doing your homework. same thing every day. » The psychotherapist assures us, this often creates a trigger.