Jungle camp, day 5: toilet paper shortages and babbling exercises

Jungle camp day 5
Toilet paper shortages, reincarnations and babbling exercises with Heinz – normal everyday jungle life

Shortly after midnight, just from listening, my eyelids start to twitch nervously. There was already a lot going on by then, but what Sarah came up with again – about chakra and aura, about colors and spheres, was in a league of its own. She is a quantum physics nerd, she sees the colors of a person, Tim is yellow around his stomach area, which means that he would like to rattle more often, he is a reincarnated esprit anyway, and has been woman before, and was already a man. Or was it about her? Boy oh boy, what was going on? Sarah was knighted a long time ago, that is well known anyway. One day she will be buried with knights, but with the best will in the world she couldn’t say when that would happen. The word meltdown took on a whole new meaning here.

Although – to be precise, Felix had already been on a similar trip a while before, he sent out a Tourette’s telegram that was just a blur: He learned to be a stuntman, shot with real weapons in Gremsmühlen, bang, bang, his Spaghetti Bolo is legendary, he already has it celebrated with the Black Eyed Peas and beat Henssler. That’s crazy – and then the guy also has 140 percent vision, which could explain his Salbader. The man just sees things that aren’t actually there. Lucy’s look when Felix von Schnatteroff explains a map to her is also priceless. His supervision of Kim’s vegetable chops was at least as competent, it was impossible to imagine what he saw with his 140 percent X-ray vision.

Toilet paper is becoming scarce in the jungle camp

This time he had to share the mansplaining medal on the blue smart egg ribbon with David. He had night watch at the campfire, where he first met Anya, who was definitely in the mood for subtle flirting, with silence, and then explained to her in which direction you turn on a tap. “I didn’t want to talk to her,” he commented on his laziness in the consulting room. Maybe he should have taken that to heart when it came to the toilet paper issue. This was apparently running out so quickly that team captain Klodonkor sparked a discussion about leaf consumption and allocation, multiple use and cleaning rites, which alone could get you a quick Otto – or the opposite. He gave Tim and Kim the maximum punishment: “Because you talk too much, you’re going to use the toilet today!”

It was surprising how full the faecal tub to be emptied – aura color probably brown, you would have to ask Sarah – appeared in view of the often narrow diet. There won’t be much more, and that’s definitely good news given the toilet paper shortage. After successfully completing the jungle test the day before, this time Leyla took part in the “repair torture” as a mechanic in an underground maintenance shaft for a broken air conditioning system. At first it started off quite solidly, but then it became too dark, too claustrophobic, whereupon Leyla said goodbye to the test with a scream that would make Jamie Lee Curtis turn pale and had to let Jan Köppen pull her back into the daylight.

Background to the story: Leyla was reminded of a traumatic situation in her childhood when she was once locked in a similarly dark room. Not the only contribution on the subject of repatriation: Together with Kim, she reported on an ex-boyfriend who regularly beat her and even tried to kill her twice. Kim also talked about being beaten; her father was prone to violent outbursts, a recurring, deeply distressing memory for both of them to this day.

The rest is quickly told: Anya is afraid of spiders, but finds pineapples very fragrant. Both of them make her cry really badly. Heinz Hoenig has come to life and is teaching his fellow inmates funny babbling exercises – “Everything to loosen you up!” – but can’t stand how Kim talks about holes. Which in turn claims: Men are the problem, as always. And when Lucy catches whoever stole her towel, you don’t want to stand by. Just thinking about it makes your aura turn blood red. Of course we’re testing again, so Leyla can finally take a breather – Anya and Kim have to go. And if you ever wondered when David Odonkor realized he was 37, the answer was yesterday: on his 37th birthday. Let’s end the daily report with a bon mot from the great Felix von Jascheroff: “I have a little idea, I’m happy to pass it on.”

Transparency note: The star is part of RTL Germany