It’s best if I just come clean: for the past year, I’ve been hooked on vaping. Specifically, those neon-coloured disposable ones called things like ‘Elf Bar’ and ‘Lost Mary’ (no, I have no idea why) – which taste and are packaged like sweets and are clearly made to appeal to children.
My preferred flavours included ‘Gummy Bear’, ‘Blue Razz Lemonade’ and, my favourite, ‘Triple Mango’. Just writing this makes me cringe. I’m pretty embarrassed, but it’s best if I’m honest.