Any good economist will tell you: the economy is absolutely everywhere. Even in death? It was difficult to escape, even if it was six feet underground. For those who remain, it is time for funerals, wills, inheritance management…
So if death has a cost, is it a business like any other? The idea may seem provocative, and yet… As has been said, death has a financial cost; So it’s good that people are sellers. On the occasion of All Saints’ Day, 20 minutes asked the question rather head-on to Sarah Dumont, founder of Happy Endingan online platform that supports bereavement, in particular by offering connections with different experts (psychiatrists, funerals, etc.) or by giving practical advice.
Is death a business like any other?
I would say yes, even if we quickly find a moral accusation of “making money” on death. For example, funeral directors have a bad image, are accused of being money pumps and of taking money from the bereaved, even though they have a fundamental role and funerals are often the first stone in the road to recovery. grief.
There is a denial of death in our society. The French note that they have been taken care of all their lives by the State, from birth to school until illness, and that the latter no longer intervenes at the time of mourning and death. a loved one, a very painful moment. This state non-intervention is seen as an injustice, and the companies that “replace” it as shameful. To take the example of funeral directors, they have a much better press in Anglo-Saxon countries, where the State generally intervenes less.
Beyond the moral question, can we really have an offer on death like we sell cars?
When we buy a car, we compare prices, dealers, ask friends for advice… As for death, there are three major shortcomings which explain why we don’t do all that. Already, we know nothing about this subject because we are not interested in it until we are confronted with it. Secondly, we are sad and grieving, and since we have not prepared anything before, we make decisions in this state. Finally, we only have six working days after the death to organize the funeral. There are therefore constraints of time, emotion and lack of knowledge. It’s not so much that we don’t sell death like we sell a car, it’s above all that we don’t buy death like we buy a car.
I think we need to stop being so afraid of death and take care of those who are going to experience it. »
And besides, how do we decide to start working on death?
Seeing this unpreparedness of people, precisely. And telling ourselves that we must fill in this lack. Unprepared and overwhelmed in their mourning, the French endure the funeral of their loved one more than they choose it. They are not free to choose, and I wanted to give them that choice.
I got the idea from hearing back from people present at my father’s funeral, which I had organized. The funeral was in a concert hall, which made the posture much freer. We had a happy funeral, with a platform where we could applaud each other. I’ve had a lot of comments from people saying that they didn’t know that we could do this kind of ceremony. A funeral in the image of the deceased is very important for a majority of French people. A third of them opt for a civil ceremony rather than a religious one, without knowing what options they have the right to.’
I want to ask people: ”Have you forgotten that you and your loved ones were going to die?”. »
Exactly, isn’t it difficult to constantly be confronted with grieving people?
It’s part of the mission. You have to be comfortable with death and the idea of suffering to welcome the words of these people, but it’s so important for me to help them that it doesn’t bother me. We must stop being so afraid of death and take care of those who will experience it.
Do your loved ones understand when you talk about your activity?
Since I’ve been doing this job in 2018, my loved ones have finally gotten used to it and understood that it’s not just a fad. But it’s true that I always have reactions: “Holala, that must be hard”, “Why are you doing that? »… I encounter a lot of incomprehension every time I talk about it to new people.
I admit that I am always surprised by these remarks. I don’t understand how we can’t consider ourselves mortal, it’s such an important subject. Every time I want to ask them: “Have you forgotten that you and your loved ones were going to die?” “. Death has become a taboo; 80% of French people die in hospital, far from home, we no longer see death, we no longer consider it.
Exactly, how do you advertise your activity when death is such a strong societal taboo?
By talking about it in a bright, positive and straightforward tone. We must not be afraid to raise the subject head-on, and not take detours. This is particularly what we do with “aperitifs of death”.
Of course, it shocks some people, but others find themselves in this tone which is not heavy, not conventional, which brings freshness to death. There are many who say to themselves: “I want the day of death to celebrate my life”.