Almost 40 years old, Claire (not her real name) must count every euro. A necessity for this mother of five children who is going through a particularly complicated period. This project assistant, who reports having suffered violence from her ex-partner, is “stuck” with a house to repay on her own in addition to numerous expenses, despite a salary of nearly 1,800 euros.
A situation which reflects the sad observation recently made by Secours catholique: precariousness, particularly that of women, continues to increase in France. So much so that single mothers like Claire now represent more than a quarter (25.7%) of beneficiaries. Under condition of anonymity, this resident of Loire-Atlantique agreed to confide in 20 minutes.
“A tsunami on our house”
“In 2020, a tsunami hit our house. Following domestic violence and the children being placed in court, I finally found myself alone with them having to assume everything financially. Before, we had an average situation. Not rich but we got by, with a house that we had renovated by ourselves. There, I have reached the point where even earning 1,780 euros per month, I am at the end of my abilities so I launched an over-indebtedness file. I had applied for social housing but with five children, I was told I shouldn’t even hope. »
“Yoghurts, I count them”
“I remember, at the end of the first month, there was nothing left in the fridge so I went to see the social worker. We took over all the lines of the budget, and I realized that even if I worked, I would not be able to cope with daily life, even basic ones. I was initially fed by the Red Cross, I went there in the afternoon and I made up my work hours at night. What is very hard is to make children understand that they have no choice in food. That they can no longer afford to say “I don’t want it”, because there is nothing else. We eat a lot of canned goods. I count the yogurts, and if there isn’t enough I say I don’t want dessert. »
“My budget: -180 euros per month”
“Today, I have access to a solidarity grocery store in my town. It’s more human because we choose and pay for something, even if it’s a very reduced price. For the rest of the budget, I write everything down on an Excel spreadsheet: the house loan represents more than a third, the water and electricity have exploded… When I add everything up, at the moment, even with the CAF aid and pensions, I arrive at -180 euros… I still had lawyer fees, I also have to pay the au pair who picks up the children from the school bus. There is no room for the unexpected: when my car needed major repairs, fortunately Secours catholique was able to help me. In fact, we find ourselves caught up and we have the impression that we are going down like a whirlwind. If we continue to spend, we will go under. Without the resourcefulness and all the efforts I made to get out of it, I would have already completely sunk. »
“Accept outstretched hands”
“We are developing a whole bunch of tips: Vinted and Le Bon Coin for clothes, a big freezer for bread, collecting bicycles from neighbors and repairing them. I also know a craftsman whom I sometimes help with administrative matters and who comes to plug holes in my roof and give me pallets to heat me. At first it was really complicated but I ended up accepting the outstretched hands. In the past it was me who gave, without imagining that I would one day find myself in this situation. »
“We don’t have much, but we still do”
“We have discussions with the children about the value of things, the pleasure of giving, the moments spent together. I can’t take my son to karting, so his godfather gives him a gift for his birthday. My oldest, for Christmas, asked for a pony ride. This summer, I found places for Puy du Fou, for less than 100 euros. The most wonderful day of their lives. Otherwise, we go to the museums in Nantes, free on the first Sunday of the month. We’ll go to the Christmas market even if I won’t be able to buy anything from them. We don’t have much, but we still do. This brings us back to basics. »
“Five years to get by”
“Today, we don’t really have a shortage, but I always have this stress that comes back: ‘How am I going to pay?’ It’s a haunting that can keep me from sleeping, even though it could have been much worse. My children are happy, and I told them: “Give me five years.” I started my continuing education studies again even though sometimes I didn’t have any gas in the car to get there, so it was delayed. But I hope to have my master’s degree in 2025 and by then to no longer feel this pressure. That knot in your stomach when you take out the bank card and wonder if it will go through. »