Ursula Karven is “a member of the club of broken hearts”. Here she reveals what helped her after setbacks.
At the beginning of her career she worked as a successful photo model until Ursula Karven (57) discovered acting for herself in the 1980s. Since then she has been one of the most famous TV faces in Germany. Now the 57-year-old has published her latest book, “Witches, Goddesses and White Magic – How to use ancient rituals, customs and essences for your life today”. In the interview, she tells which ritual she uses the most and what helps her after a setback.
In “Witches, Goddesses and White Magic” you also deal with the subject of rituals. Do you have a particularly favorite ritual?
Ursula Karven: Absolutely! There’s a ritual I’ve been practicing for years, and that’s writing down goals. To be more precise, writing down four short-term and four long-term goals that I set myself personally and then update every three months – i.e. with the change of seasons.
And what happens once you write down the goals?
Karven: Then I light a candle, solemnly fold the pieces of paper together, put them in a box, put it away – and let go. I entrust the order to a greater power or energy than my own. And when I then check back after three months, many of my short-term goals have already been dealt with. It’s really amazing how well this ritual works and how much it has changed my life for the better.
Can you tell us one of the long-term goals that have already been achieved?
Karven: I wanted to find a new partner on equal footing with whom I could live happily and share my life. And for that, I was willing to do all my homework.
What homework?
Karven: For example, that I had to learn to stay alone for a few years. To endure this situation and not only to make big compromises because my inner voice keeps calling: “Ursula, at the age of 55 you can be lucky if you ever fall in love again.” Yes, I am happily in love again today. But if I hadn’t learned to live an inner lightness and to let go of my goal of finding a new love again and again, then I would probably have lived a lazy compromise again. It’s easier at first glance, but I wouldn’t have found the really right partner that way.
But aren’t compromises part of life from time to time?
Karen: Of course! But it is also very important to stay true to yourself and to listen to your inner voice. And it’s important that as a woman in a relationship I can be truthful and be loved for who I actually am. I no longer want to have to represent something that my partner projects into me. I’ve gotten it mercilessly wrong a few times in the past. Today that doesn’t happen to me anymore!
They have been happily married again since last year. Life has always presented you with extreme challenges in the past.
Karven: Yes, I’m definitely a member of the broken heart club. And most recently, the riding accident while filming in 2015 pushed me to my limits.
At that time you suffered a broken neck…
Karven: When I fell off my horse, I broke my second cervical vertebra at the very top, where the carotid artery goes through. Luckily lengthways and not across, otherwise I would most likely have been paraplegic forever! In addition, not only was my cervical vertebra broken, but also my hip and some ribs. I was injured so badly that I spent a week in intensive care and had to wear a steel neck brace permanently for months after being discharged from the hospital. That left deep marks on me.
In what way?
Karven: After taking off the steel ruff, I was very afraid of hurting my neck again badly through a stupid accident or an accidental bump. As a result, I stopped going to shops, driving, traveling, and seeing my friends. At some point the fear in me was so overwhelming that I realized that I needed help.
Did you find this realization difficult?
Karven: A little bit. After all, before that I was often the one who helped other people with their yoga knowledge. But with post-traumatic stress disorder being diagnosed, I was left with no other choice. And it was good and important that I accepted the help. Thanks to the psychotherapy, I am now completely fine again. I got out of the low again.
Are you a fighter?
Karven: Getting up again after a bad blow, straightening the crown and walking on – I’m really good at that! Thank God I have a great inner strength that has always helped me in very dark periods of my life. And I have an unshakable belief in good. A belief that everything will be fine in the end.
You last made a film three years ago. Why the longer break?
Karven: I would like to shoot again soon – but not at any price.
What do you mean by that?
Karven: Recently I was offered roles that didn’t match my expectations of a strong woman of my age. Unfortunately, some TV producers sometimes have funny ideas about how women in their mid-fifties should behave.
Such as?
Karven: In a lavish mini-series, I was supposed to play the leading role – a woman who is secretly studying. And that really is a mothball cliché. My mother wouldn’t have done that anymore… I want to be able to identify with the role! Luckily I’m in a position where I can afford to say no.
What emotions does a film set evoke in you?
Karven: I’ll honestly admit it took me a while to heal. My riding accident really hurt me very badly – physically and mentally. That’s why I was very afraid at the beginning of shooting again. The atmosphere during the shooting alone shook up so many memories in me. But thanks to my therapy, I am as strong and courageous today as I used to be. And one of my short-term goals is to be in front of a film camera again soon.