Last Saturday, while preparing dinner, I found I was lacking salt. So I faced a difficult decision. Leaving my child at home alone and rushing out to buy salt from the supermarket. Or put them on and take them with you. With the supermarket only minutes away – and it was raining outside – I decided to run out on my own. When I came back ten minutes later, I found that my little one had discovered the baking flour packet and spread it over the couch. How does the Bavarian say so beautifully? Yes my
Munich’s parents rarely say yes to me. In my experience, many fathers and mothers have a strong tendency to watch and protect their children 24 hours a day. In the playgrounds you can witness how parents accompany their children to the sandpit and linger there like bodyguards. And if a single parent leaves the apartment building alone, she can expect suspicious looks from the neighbors.
In Uganda it was quite normal for me and my peers to be left alone or sent to play with neighboring children. Even as a toddler. When it got late with the parents, they stayed with the neighbors for dinner, sometimes the parents even found us asleep. Here, such behavior would likely come into conflict with the authorities. Because of neglect. Personally, I’ve always seen it differently. More as a preparation for life.
In Germany, the land of rules, there is of course a law for this: From the age of four you can leave your child alone for short periods of around ten to 15 minutes. The question arises: if a child has been used to being cared for around the clock for four years, should they be left alone at all?
The point is to prevent a child left unsupervised at home from getting into distress. Most of my friends get quite paranoid when they leave their children alone. Perhaps also because they fear that their child will be taken away by the authorities if the neighbors snoop at them.
This is not a plea for neglecting the duty of supervision. Especially not in the big city of Munich, where this topic can be a matter of life and death. But at some point you have to teach a child that it is okay to be alone for a while, that nothing bad will happen to them, and that they are trusted. The more extreme and longer a child believes they are in all-round helicopter protection, the more difficult this step can be.
Personally, I call my daughter my handbag because I take it almost everywhere unless it’s in kindergarten. I’ve taken her to several meetings because it’s difficult to find a babysitter. And sometimes there are short ja-mei moments when my daughter gets to know the consistency of baking flour.