The neighbor on the first floor who insists on taking the elevator with you. The supermarket checkout which is no longer moving because of this customer who left at the last second to weigh zucchini that he thought were “by the piece”. The sadism of your friend whose passion is to spoil the best series/films on Earth.
The initial idea is simple: take an interest in these “naughty” little gestures that tickle us every day. To this “feeling of omnipotence which makes us say ‘if I don’t do it, the other will do it, so I might as well do it'”, as described by psychologist Robert Zuili, author of Power of links (ed. Mango, September 2023).
These little annoying things, they are legion. And above all, above all, they concern us all. Because ultimately, “we are all someone’s pest.” Especially on a bike, on the road.
The annoying fact
Stuck in traffic jams at a time when we have the choice between listening to Jérôme Rothen spouting salads and taking a shot of anxiety-provoking news on the more serious radio stations, all in a Paris asphyxiated after a day of work at least as interminable as this one sentence, a motorist takes, like every day, a certain intersection on the right on the way home. No luck, he hadn’t anticipated this bike being launched at a good 15 km/h into his blind spot before committing. Well, just enough not to mow it down, but not enough to avoid the two regulatory taps on the hood and the “oh, are you okay, asshole?” » union of the disgruntled commuter. Deserved. After all, he made a mistake, we are in France, bitching and insults are part of our cultural heritage, so far so good.
The affair could have ended if the disgruntled cyclist’s Go Pro had not stuck its nose in there. Once home, the latter will rush to watch the scene 3,000 times before posting it on the networks, the forums and everything beautiful that the internet has to offer, to complain about it. The world must know the ignominy of which it has just been a victim; it is in the general interest. The verdict of this trial where the judge is a party will be final. The death penalty for the motorist for active participation in the great conspiracy against the cyclists, who fear supreme moral superiority: they save the planet every day.
Why is this so annoying?
Because the urban cyclist-cameraman-twitto ALWAYS finds something to complain about, to the point of losing all notion of the seriousness of a given situation. A passer-by with his head in the air or the utility vehicle on warning, planted in the middle of the cycle path, or worse, a tree branch poorly pruned by the city gardeners (HIDALGO DEMISSION) which pushes one to swerve, will be placed in the same boat as a degenerate driver. Even when nothing is happening, something is happening, the cars leaving no room to squeeze between themselves and the sidewalk, what a tragedy! It’s the escalation of pettiness at the slightest annoyance.
Freddy Gladieux was also able to transcribe the ridiculousness of these laments very well by parodying Parisian commuters in several videos. A little tenderness for the palette in Doudouce in slow motion as the electric scooter falls on the green track, Boulevard Magenta.
The arguments of the stupid
The forgotten flashing light is the most common argument even if not always justified (this is the game of the video, we can also quibble to show that yes, at the 36th second, the flashing light was on). Easily counter-attacked with a “yes, but you’re trying to overtake on the right in a blind spot”. A much stronger argument is serious accidents. In 2022, according to statistics from the National Interministerial Road Safety Observatory (ONISR), there were 245 cyclist deaths in France. A figure down compared to the previous year but which demonstrates, if necessary, the vulnerability of two-wheelers in public spaces.
What does science say?
That these people live in a highly anxiety-provoking climate and that they are deeply unhappy. Saverio Tomasella, psychoanalyst and author of Calimero syndrome (ed. Albin Michel), pushes the reflection further. Three lessons to remember:
> “These cyclists are overfocused on themselves, on their stress while riding their bike and on all the people who will prevent them from being peaceful. More than Calimero syndrome, these are big complainers who have taken the posture of “it’s not okay and I’m going to show you”. »
> “The obstinacy shown by these people has neurological explanations. If we train our brain to monitor or control something, it will ask for more. He will want us to monitor this situation even better and act accordingly, to the point of becoming addicted, dependent on this control and this surveillance. One day, we were outraged by the bad behavior of a motorist, we were even afraid, and from that day on, we made it our obligation to ensure their safety while driving, but to spot all the faults of other drivers. In large cities, this is sure to happen. »
> “To get out of this, we would have to disconnect the technical means that allow us to film what is happening. Complain, blow, even insult the other, and it’s over, we move on to something else five minutes later. We don’t make it a big spy affair where we create files, a paranoid thing where we will note the slightest blunder of the other. The best thing will always be to express your dissatisfaction immediately. »
The infallible trick to make the jerk understand that he is a jerk
Make him face his own misdeeds. And there are plenty of them. Red lights run out not always wisely, pedestrians brush past at 20 miles an hour – how many of them hate cyclists the way cyclists hate cars – because there might be a KOM Strava in the mix , optional right-hand priorities, mirrors sacrificed on the altar of “I absolutely have to pass between these two cars so as not to land”.
A photographer and himself a cyclist in Paris, Philippe Lopez exhibited last year the fruit of a year spent along the main Parisian soft mobility routes (Rivoli, Sebastopol, etc.). His testimony is clear: constant violations of the highway code, and a peloton certainly calmed by the absence of cars but no less disordered, with, ironically, disagreements between cyclists. “Yes, they are starting to argue with each other. They can send each other somewhat crude words, they respond to each other, like motorists. Ultimately, they are the same but on a bike. » A great lesson in humility to remember before spreading the little rotten hiccup on the road to work.