A movie theater neighbor who picks at his box of XXL popcorn throughout the entire movie. A driver who turns orange before blocking the entire intersection. The marathon “finisher” who feels obliged to give his time to everyone on Monday morning at the office… The initial idea is simple: take an interest in these “naughty” little gestures that tickle us every day. To this “feeling of omnipotence which makes us say ‘if I don’t do it, the other will do it, so I might as well do it'”, as described by psychologist Robert Zuili, author of The Power of Links (Mango ed ., September 2023).
These little annoying things, they are legion. And above all, above all, they concern us all. Because in the end, “we are all someone’s nuisance”. Especially in our favorite expressions, the theme of the day.
The annoying fact:
Your good mood has been in abeyance for several months, but take courage: on this Wednesday, December 20, you only have a few days left in this musty open space before a vacation that is 50% deserved/50% necessary. That was without counting Arthur, your colleague, determined to make you drink the chalice to the dregs. He flashed his most beautiful smile, announcing what he thinks will be a well-intended response, and when it’s time to pack up, he gives you a “And Drowning Joël in advance!” » more tense than chalk on the blackboard.
By then, it is already too late, the damage is done. Just can you set a 2024 resolution to take ju-jitsu classes so you can high-kick Arthur next time to silence him.
So yes, to 20 minutes, we usually maintain a pacifist and benevolent editorial line, but Arthur is not his first attempt. You have to see him parading around the coffee machine with his “It’s like a Monday” at the start of each week, trying “see you next year” when a colleague takes two weeks off in December, or thinking he’s funny with his joke flagship 2022-2023: “Ah well “woke”, for me, that means a good pad thai.”
Why is this so annoying?
“But because it’s not fucking funny!” », Testifies Leslie, a bit exasperated with life at 32 years old. Who, after 6 years, where critical thinking awakens and where Carambar jokes no longer appear as peaks of humor, can find “Nojeux Joël” amusing? Or say “what an incredible punchline” in agreementndant “Did you eat a clown this morning”?. After ten (and again, we’re nice), it’s time to be demanding in terms of jokes, to look for double meanings, the unexpected, the gritty, the absurd, in short a background. “There’s nothing there, it’s the flat encephalogram of humor,” adds Julie.
And if it’s to hear assonances and spoonerisms that are a bit forced, it’s very kind to offer you, Arthur, but we already have Nekfeu – or Big Flo and Oli for the more chaste among you – who are very good deal.
Finally, a more specific reason for the famous “it’s like a Monday”/“can’t wait for the weekend” combo. And for that, I call Charlène to the stand: “We just want to shake our office colleague, order him to take charge of himself, for his own good and our good, and that if he is so unhappy that that in his work, that he resigns and goes to find the happiness he deserves elsewhere.”
The idiot’s arguments
- The “relativist” argument by Benjamin, 36, suspected of numerous “Like a Monday”
“It’s okay, there are worse things in life, it doesn’t hurt”
An argument that is difficult to refute given the geopolitical news of 2023. Indeed, between buying your plate of butter for 17 euros because of inflation, seeing Putin invade all of Europe and the Middle East being torn apart like never before, suffering the rise of fascism or hear yet another “Nojeux Joël”, we reluctantly take the last option.
Argument which exists in a more aggressive version: “What do you care about making a drama out of this?” »but we will come back to it in the Science section.
- The “mirror-mirror” argument by Marine, 32, guilty of the expression “I go d’agneau”
“You who use the word “banger” for everything and nothing, are you going to give us lessons on corny expressions? »
Yes, a little modesty, we all have unbearable expressions, catchphrases that we use at will or language tics.
- The “Abbé Pierreque” argument by Laura, fan of “See you next year”
“I try to bring a little joy into this world”
In these times, can we really be difficult? Shouldn’t an attempt, even if it was a failed one, to bring happiness into people’s lives be welcomed rather than condemned? We all prefer a football match where the attackers shoot at goal, even if it means missing, than 90 minutes without action. So much the worse for the skylight recoveries.
What Science Says
According to a study by the online temp agency Qapa.fr dating from 2019, 46% of French people say that “yes, certain expressions should be banned”. For example, 59% of men admit to sometimes using the terrible “Like a Monday”, compared to only 45% of women (thanks to you).
But the bad guy isn’t always what you think. 63% of French people think it is better to ban people wanting to censor expressions rather than banning the expressions themselves. So let people express themselves as they wish.
The infallible trick to make the jerk understand that he is a jerk
Since we does not recommend the high-kick, which would mean starting 2024 by dismissal for serious misconduct, you will have to use an equally impactful weapon: silence. We reassure you, this is not a pseudo-Buddhist morality “the toad’s slime must not reach you, ignore your enemies”. No, if we advise you to keep quiet, it’s because the pseudo-punchliner idiot hates silence, it terrifies him.
You just have to see him come out with a lame reply every time there is a gap of more than 30 seconds: “well, good atmosphere here”, “you are talkative this morning”. And the famous “it’s so good that no one speaks” at each collective meal, a bit silent (yes Arthur, it’s a meal, we’re there to eat, not to debate the meaning of life).
Every second of emptiness that you impose on Arthur will make him hyperventilate, a good way to take revenge for the harm he did to you. And JoY-them NOTChristmas all the same, Arthur!