His illness is unpredictable. She attacks him like a wild animal, even in moments when he doesn’t expect it. “Everything can be good and you still have your depressive phases,” says Mike F.
Things are actually going quite well for him at the moment, even if the pain in his bad knees is always there, as is the invisible psychological suffering that torments him and the constant insomnia. He wouldn’t be able to get through life without medication.
Mike F. is sitting at home on a large leather coach that a friend left to him. It dominates the living room, which is also connected to a kitchen area. He doesn’t have a dining table and chairs at the moment. The sofa can be converted into a wide bed. The children sleep on it when they visit Mike F.. The 14-year-old daughter and eleven-year-old son live with their mother and are allowed to visit their father every other weekend. Since he has his own apartment, this is now possible. “They like coming to me,” says Mike F. There is a small red plush heart on the sofa, a gift from his daughter. On the wall are photos of two beautiful children laughing happily and hugging each other tightly.
After separating from his partner, Mike F. was homeless for many years. He says he never had to sleep on the street. But he knows the men’s dormitories in Munich. “They don’t want to know what it’s like there.” For him, who is depressed, for whom sometimes every little thing becomes too much, as he says, and who often lies awake at night, they are difficult places because he “can’t cope with being around a lot of people.” Now he can withdraw.
The social housing is located in a new development area and has floor-to-ceiling windows. The houses are close together and you can see what your neighbors are eating. Mike F. feels like he is being watched. It doesn’t have any curtains, nor are there any rails or rods for them. To attach them, he would need a drill. He hasn’t either. That’s why he often lowers the electric blinds and isolates himself, even during the day. But he knows that brightness helps against depression. He has had a few treatments and the animal still jumps at him, sometimes clawing at his neck. Mike F. suffers from cervical spine syndrome and has neck and shoulder pain that extends all the way up to his head.
His children are the center of his life
Mike F., whose actual name is different, grew up in Berlin. A city he no longer wants to return to. It’s too big for him and his memories of his childhood and his parents aren’t all that good. He came to Munich in 1997 to train as a paramedic. He enjoys helping other people. He also worked as a geriatric nurse. The congenital misalignment of his feet had already been a problem for him, but he was still able to play football. Now, even though he is only 43 years old, he finds it difficult to stand for long periods of time. His knee joints have already been operated on, but another operation will soon be necessary. After rehab, he wants to retrain and get back on his own feet financially.
His children are the center of his life. Playing with them and going on excursions gives him strength. He would like to go on a little vacation with them. Or a bike ride? Mike F. smiles: “Very much.” But he would need all the bikes, and he would need a stable e-bike, but how is he supposed to afford that?
Here’s how you can donate: “Advent calendar for good works from the Süddeutsche Zeitung eV” Stadtsparkasse München IBAN: DE86 7015 0000 0000 6007 00 BIC: SSKMDEMMXXX