Mentalities have evolved, practices have changed. But not enough. The decision of a judge in Metz invoking a so-called “right of correction” has shed light on these parental techniques which can be considered violent. Just like political speeches advocating the return of parental authority against youth deemed delinquent. However, in 2019, a law on this ordinary educational violence, commonly called the “anti-spanking law”, came to dot the “i”, reminding us that parental authority must be exercised without violence.
Poorly understood psychological violence
According to a barometer from the Children’s Foundation published in 2022, 63% of parents are aware of the law and have identified it. Almost five years later, it has raised awareness. But almost eight out of ten still say they “resort to ordinary educational violence, whether physical or moral”.
In addition, “awareness of psychological violence is still insufficient,” notes Clémence Lisembard, head of operations at the Children’s Foundation. Parents take less action physically, but the law may also have created a vacuum, leaving them without a solution to provide a framework for their children. They therefore had to “find other means to establish their authority”, estimates Pascal Vigneron, director of the 119, the telephone helpline for children in danger. We must therefore increase awareness on the subject, believe children’s defense organizations, especially since psychological violence “is sometimes worse”, warns Pascal Vigneron.
Fine line between violence and abuse
“There is an issue of understanding and awareness because many parents are violent without knowing it,” explains Clémence Lisembard. To go further, continue the progression, “we need to make them aware, support them more on the needs of the child according to the maturity of their brain, provide them with key information even if in concrete terms there is no method “, she advises again. All severity should not be banned, because “the child needs a limit, a framework, consequences for his actions”, adds Clémence Lisembard. But communication is essential. “If the punishment is proportionate, consistent and explained, it is not violence,” she emphasizes.
On the other hand, when it is disproportionate, it can amount to educational violence. And when it is repeated, mechanical, it becomes abuse. The nuance between the two is sometimes difficult to clearly identify. “If any act is violence, any child who one day receives a slap is not necessarily educated in a climate of reflex violence,” tempers Pascal Vigneron. “On the other hand, cases of mistreatment often begin with ordinary educational violence which takes place in an area of continuous violence,” specifies Clémence Lisembard.
A society that evolves
More “symbolic” than anything else, the “anti-spanking” law is in fact inapplicable but it has raised awareness among families on this subject. At 119, we sometimes come across grandparents who are worried about their parents’ behavior. Calls which show “a reflection of family members”, underlines Pascal Vigneron.
Above all, the law has been integrated by society, down to the children themselves. They are now aware of their rights and that no adult has the right to hit them. Good news for future generations since “75% of people who practice ordinary educational violence have experienced it themselves,” says Clémence Lisembard.