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free love? Younger more open to open relationships
Young people are more open to trying out new life models – in love, but also in professional life. photo
© Gerald Matzka/dpa
Is monogamy a thing of the past? A new survey shows that many of the younger generation have very different ideas about love and partnership than older people – or at least don’t mind.
More open to the open: Every second adult under 30 predicts a rosy future for the “open love relationship” model. This is the result of a survey representative of the population by the market research institute Fittkau and Maass on behalf of the matchmaking agency ElitePartner.
Forty-nine percent of men and 48 percent of women between the ages of 18 and 29 say they believe “open relationships will become more common in the future.” Only about a third (32 percent) of the total population aged 18 to 69 believes this, and among people over 60 only about a fifth.
gender gap
An open relationship means a partnership in which each other is allowed the freedom to have sex with other people. So-called polyamory, which is about cultivating a real love relationship with several people at the same time, is different – and everyone involved knows about each other.
When things get serious, there is a gender gap: among the under-30s, only about one in five women (18 percent) can basically imagine having an open relationship. In the case of men under 30, on the other hand, it is almost one in three (30 percent). The difference is even greater among respondents over 60: only around 6 percent of women, but around 17 percent of 60 to 69-year-old men can imagine an open relationship.
Find the right model
“There used to be no alternative to monogamous relationships, but today young people in particular think more freely, like to discuss new life models and approach the topic, albeit with conflict,” says psychologist and ElitePartner research director Lisa Fischbach of the German Press Agency.
The younger generation generally treat themselves to more questions. Including: “Which working model, which relationship model suits my life at the moment? Is it the classic two-person relationship or is there something else?”
The fact that this happens more frequently in our society, says the author Fischbach (“Loyalty is not a solution either”) has something to do with the dwindling influence of the churches and religion in general in large parts of the population and is due to the questioning of traditional values.
jealousy an issue
According to the study, at 14 percent, twice as many men as women have had an open relationship (at least for a while). Among the 18 to 39-year-olds, it is even said to be 19 percent of men and at least 10 percent of women.
But the study also reveals the problems that many see in a more relaxed love life. More than half of those surveyed said they were “too jealous for an open relationship”. Women (64 percent) say this more often than men (56 percent). Women are also more likely to express concerns that the risk of falling in love with a multi-pronged sex life seems too great.
How does the environment think?
In addition, more than 50 percent think that proposing an open romantic relationship could be the beginning of the end (“If my partner were to propose an open relationship, I would be concerned that she or he would leave me soon”).
Finally, many also express the assessment that they have no time for dates alongside a relationship (64 percent among women and 56 percent among men). And many still consider their surroundings, such as friends and family, to be quite traditional. Across all gender boundaries, 35 percent say that they would keep it secret if they were in an open relationship because those around them would not understand it.