March 11, day 16
Funny, for a moment I thought there was no more war.
March 12, day 17
One two Three. March 12th, a nice date. For me, this date has become a terrible one. In war, never trust silence. And that day was quiet, very quiet. Lots of sun in the sky and no rockets – and this treacherous silence. And my feeling was right. At 7 p.m. the sirens wailed. Will stop soon, I thought. Then came rockets. Rockets flying overhead, so fast and so loud and so dense it made me cry. At some point the roaring quieted down and the attack moved a few places further. I am filled with despair, anxiety and fear.
March 13, day 18
I wore two pants last night. A sweatshirt with a sweater over it, a jacket and three blankets. And of course two pairs of socks. I slept in the basement. I had to. They just keep bombing us. I hear explosions every 30 seconds. It’s cold in the basement, around freezing. There are a lot of cobwebs there. As stupid as it sounds, I’m afraid of these spiders. I feel ridiculous. Tonight I was thinking about the people of Russia. Yes, the sanctions hit them. It’s getting uncomfortable there. And that’s good. It is better, dear Russians, if you leave this country.
Hearing, seeing, feeling a house being shot at, a school, a kindergarten, it’s so bad. Some people look away because they think they won’t experience it. But no, everything is possible. Everywhere – even in Russia.
March 14, day 19
I feel like I encountered a Dementor. This character from Harry Potter that sucks out any positive feelings or memories from a person and leaves you as an empty shell. I walked around like I was remotely controlled all day and just collapsed on my bed around 7am and fell asleep. Where do I get the strength for the next day? Later that evening, around nine o’clock, I woke up wanting to make myself useful somehow. So I offered to keep the night watch instead of Mama or Babushka. At 3.29 a.m. the bomb alarm sounded. We move back into the basement, try to sleep there.
March 15, day 20
Terrible bombings took place in Popasna. Many of my friends live there. I could only reach one of them. Her name is Sophia. Today I found out that she is coming to my city. For the first time in a long time I feel happy. I will be able to meet her tomorrow. I can barely wait for it. I have informed many of our mutual friends. We bought tea. I even found a shop that gave me a box of chocolates! It was the penultimate.
March 16, day 21
While waiting for Sophia, I spoke to a woman. Life goes on, she said. We must not be discouraged. And we rebuild everything.
I meet Sophia in a hotel that houses refugees. It was nice. Ten of us sat together, took out a guitar and sweets, drank tea and sang songs. In Ukrainian, of course, because they sound so beautiful. All around, some people just joined in, sang along.
In between, Sophia told me what had happened to her. In the end she said she was fine. But her hands were shaking a lot.
March 17, day 22
Tonight I dreamed of the day. That’s what I call it: the day. I dreamed of celebrating the day with friends and family. “Glory to Ukraine!”, congratulations from the President, tears of joy in the eyes of every Ukrainian. We all sit together at a big table, sing Ukrainian songs and are just incredibly happy.
The future belongs to me and my friends. We will rebuild everything because our houses are broken but our hearts are not. Only the groceries were stolen from the shops, but not our freedom. And not fighter planes will fly in the sky, but airplanes with friends from all over the world.
Today it was quiet in our city, soon it will be quiet in all of Ukraine. Hopefully.