Cycling is a form of transport that enables people to use their own muscle power to get from Obermenzing to Untermenzing without having to walk. It also brings happy moments to the cyclist, for example when he gets into a traffic jam and can leave the car drivers trapped in it behind with a happy wave. It has long been medically proven that regular cycling extends life by many kilometers.
Not least because of this, we ride our bikes every day, from the apartment to the bakery, a whopping 400 meters and the same route back. Recently we even pedaled to a beer pub on the eastern city limits, and actually we expected to be greeted with ovations and cheers on our return. But nobody was there, none of the neighbors appreciated our crazy tour of no less than 25 kilometers.
Even stranger, our friends responded to the report on the velocipede’s energy output with an expression somewhere between pity and derision. Instead of expressing admiration, they immediately got down to talking about themselves – that’s just the way it is in these times of the selflings and egomaniacs. Charlie, for example, mentioned in mega-nasty casualness that he cycles from Pasing to Tegernsee and back every evening after work, and when the weather is nice he takes the Wallberg summit with him. Kerstin has completed a bike safari in the South African savannah, the highlight of which was her sprint victory over a rhino that hated cyclists even more than crocodiles and drivers. And Philipp is training on the Gebsattelberg for a first descent of the north face of the Eiger on a mountain bike. It’s true, a bike trip to a Munich beer garden falls a little short, even if the ascent to the Friedensengel is not without it.
It would be high time to found a slow bike movement based on the model of the slow food movement. The tempo-bolzerei of the Munich cycling community runs counter to the nature of cycling, which is based on tranquility and enjoyment. Ignoring this, some event planners went insane at the end of the 19th century to organize a bicycle race at the Oktoberfest. The bike mutated into a piece of sports equipment, and that’s what it looks like today: a high-performance monster, souped up with all the achievements of acceleration technology, often with an electric drive that gives unscrupulous cyclists a decisive advantage in the bike fight.
The example shows how destructive the spirit of sports is to the human character – especially here in the state capital. The Munich resident, formerly a relaxed person with a dumpling-shaped body, suddenly wants to look as fit as a Seitenbacher muesli. To this end, he abuses his body from morning to night. Under the motto “Nordic Walking” he even transformed the leisurely stroll into a Wasa run without skis. Meanwhile there is only one refuge of peace, leisure, inner contemplation: the traffic jam. A place of longing far removed from sports, where panting cyclists rush by at breakneck speed.