M. Beisenherz: Sorry, I’m here privately
The settlement, please!
© Illustration: Dieter Braun / stern
What did we actually expect from the Scholz government? Apparently a little too much – right from day one.
From Micky Beisenherz
And? How do you like your government so far? Well, normally you give a new administration a hundred days before there is an assessment. However, this does not fit into a time when it is common to reflexively make a judgment about everything and everyone. And because of the regularities of the attention economy, this is just as immediate as it is superficial, after all, you want to be heard quickly.
Afghanistan, the badly buttoned jacket of a “crime scene” commissioner, a rapper kicks a dog: Everything is negotiated on the same level of emotionalization – and is therefore equally irrelevant. So now the new government. In the past, Olaf Scholz would have had the time to unpack his moving boxes in peace.
The picture of his wife on the desk, the Gerhard Schröder star cut there on the wall, and where is the cupboard in the kitchen where the Def Leppard cup is supposed to be? First wipe the smell of Tosca out of the upholstery with Febreze! But no, everything is no longer possible.
Taking over the affairs of state is like a plane crash in which the stewardess asks in a shaky voice over the intercom: “Is there a pilot on board by any chance?”
Policy of the steady hand, by the way. Turn in the shot run! The swearing-in as the last oasis of silence in the eye of the hurricane. Sure, these were of course pleasantly calm pictures. This peaceful transition. A gentle wave, a pair of glassy eyes, rosy cheeks.
Should Olaf Scholz have howled like Gwyneth Paltrow did at the Oscars?
But what did we expect from Scholz? Champagne shower? Howl like Gwyneth Paltrow at the Oscars? It was as dry as the voters wanted it to be. But no storming the plenary hall, not even Armin Laschet with a buffalo helmet. The storm is outside. Every day from now on.
Annalena Baerbock immediately set off for “Europe” and had to listen to criticism because she had flown. Cem Özdemir, favored by many, would certainly have ridden to Paris by bike. For the German Hillary, it will be challenging on the one hand to carry the green line (absolute commitment to human rights) into the new job and at the same time to sell the classic government attitude (absolute commitment to human rights, as long as the strategic partners don’t mind). To assume that our Chancellor (how that sounds!) Is dreading the idea of letting the Foreign Minister go to Xi or Putin. Like in a failed chantré advertisement in which an employee takes his wife to dinner with the boss – and which has nothing better to do than mock the host’s carpet and children.
The potential for disappointment with Karl Lauterbach, whom the SPD brought from Markus Lanz for a transfer fee of 87 million, was also enormous. If the pandemic doesn’t end in January, the man should actually resign!
That is always stupid with hero worship: the irrational redemption fantasies that lead to disappointment when the sovereign has to deal with the limitations of power. And the Mutantenstadl of the next few months, of course. The sodium phobic Lauterbach at least causes the first to hoard salt shakers instead of toilet paper, for fear that they could soon be banned by ascetic Karl.
I watch the whole thing from the sofa, wish the new government all the best and happily stroke my six kilogram salt lick.
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