Micky Beisenherz about Bavarian Prime Minister Markus Söder

M. Beisenherz: Sorry, I’m here privately
Markus Söder – Rilke’s blue panther in the state chancellery

Yes, we’ve known since Easter at the latest: a man doesn’t have to leave the country’s borders to disturb people. But more on that in a moment.

If you were to create a job profile based on flight routes, you could quickly come to the conclusion that Markus Söder was the German Foreign Minister. Within a short time his path took him from Sweden via Serbia to distant China. However, there is no risk of confusion with the incumbent Foreign Minister because, on the one hand, Söder is not dependent on high shoes and, on the other hand, in countries like China he does not stand out for getting on the nerves of those in power with an excessive interest in human rights. Then it’s better to add sugar to the pandas in the Chengdu Zoo, the Insta feed. If Instagram were a screen, Söder would be Bob Ross. It’s all so incredibly banal, but you don’t want to look away because it’s so bizarrely beautiful.

Markus Söder doesn’t eat chicken feet

On the one hand, there is this funny, endangered species in the Chinese enclosure. On the other hand, there were also the pandas, which aren’t entirely cuddly either. One can only speculate as to why Söder first came to the pandas. Perhaps people remembered the prepotent behavior of the cheerful Franconian and hoped that his view would somehow, well, animate the sexually dramatically inactive animals. During his trip to the Reich – or at least part of it – the Middle Kingdom, the Bavarian Prime Minister knew how to present a number of regional dishes.

Since delicacies to the right of duck tongues seem more appropriately placed in the jungle camp than in their own bodies for the Central European, this time the Franconian carbon stomach left it with #soederisstdasnicht as the hashtag accompanying his culinary capers. He simply refuses chicken feet. Amputated roosters probably remind him too much of his own fate. Then he’s back to the Peking duck, and at this point that shouldn’t be a synonym for the misconception that the trip to Asia would have brought anything.

The entire series of images suggests that he could just as easily have gone to a Chinese restaurant in Dingolfing – it would have had a similar effect internationally. (Although one has to admit that Baerbock’s warning visits to Beijing are probably just as fruitless.)

Sure, on the surface it quickly says that the southern German industrial state is strengthening economic relations and “Lead the way here in Bavaria, Schaunsie.” It is also obvious that someone here is playing a kind of parallel chancellor during his many trips, and the State Chancellery is letting him because no one dares to tell him that it didn’t work out in 2021.

Sometimes things still fall to him. Just like in February, when US Vice President Kamala Harris traveled to the Munich Security Conference and, in a mixture of statesman and Monaco Franze, he was able to present her with a gingerbread heart on the airfield. Two people met here who came within a hair’s breadth of winning the big office. In the end, both Söder and Harris hope that the old man in pole position will stumble after all – at least rhetorically – and then there they are! Söder, however, no longer seems to really believe in this and has been seeming strangely serious for some time now. And that is a remarkable increase by his standards.

On Easter Sunday, the Söder-Tifosi had the chance to win an egg from Södermaggus himself via a comment on Insta. Before the impression arises that the super-potent father of the country threatened to donate testicles: it was a handbag-sized chocolate egg. But one with the likeness of the self-confident Franconian. On Instagram. For special school luminaries like Katja Krasavice or Dieter Bohlen, such an incentive for fans wouldn’t be an unusual move, but: Could you imagine something like that with Malu Dreyer or Reiner Haseloff, for example? Even. As if it were a matter of feeling himself again, the man scratches hard along the Pocher Rubicon or sets off on one of the foreign trips he once hated. When in doubt, simply combine both. No matter whether it’s dancing queen in Stockholm or panda petting in Beijing – the almost crazy cascade of meme material on Instagram is impressive.

Egg on Legend.

Bored with the repetitive nature of being a regional prince, he plays the joker to distract himself from the dreary journey through the Bavarian state chancellery like Rilke’s Panther. What was once funny is now just a dutiful celebratory act: today shaking hands with Maurer Aicher in Freilassing, tomorrow an appreciative Humpta at Landtechnik Gruber’s 75th birthday in Ampfing and then giving Hilde Voigt a fatherly pat in the nursing home and congratulating her on her 108th birthday. When Baerbock then flies to Gaza at the same time and even Robert Habeck is taken seriously in Washington, Söder hardly feels younger than the honoree next to him.

The funny meanie who killed Laschet

He has long been attending many official occasions without a tie, astonishingly snubbed and dressed carelessly, as if the State Chancellery had sent the porter at the end of a twelve-hour shift. The man has reached the end of his possibilities. Sure, he’s a welcome guest on television. But as an entertainer, not as a politician. Just like Jo Gerner or JR Ewing back then. The villain we love. The funny meanie who killed Laschet back then. It will be interesting to see how he manages to get out of the cemented positions he held last year. Who is he going to hit behind the scenes again today? And let’s be honest: the topic of gender is primarily a tabloid potential for cultural riots. As a colorful T-shirt from Fun Friday comedians. That’s not really serious politics. This seems to be rather boring for the tired meme jockey.

The incoming Chancellor Friedrich Merz should make Söder Federal President as a thank you for securing a majority in the Union. Well, pleas for selflessness, sincerity and reliability in the New Year’s speeches lacked a little credibility. But he could travel around a lot, would generate plenty of material and best of all: he would no longer have any influence on specific politics.

Then a plate of chicken feet!