Introverts live extroverts for a year – a head-shaking self-experiment

book review

self-experiment
An introvert lives extroverted for a year—a head-shaking experiment

07/24/2022, 1:20 p.m

3 min reading time

Jessica Pan is a textbook introvert. Nevertheless, the journalist has tried for a year to do all the things that she is actually afraid of. Her experiences broadened my horizons.

Jessica Pan likes to describe herself as “shintroverted” — a mix of shy and introverted. You dread small talk, she would never speak to a stranger anywhere, she prefers to spend her days at home on the couch. But at some point the journalist had enough of this life. She wanted to experience what it’s like to lead the life of an extrovert.

For a year, Jessica Pan has done all the things she otherwise detests. Things to do with people, stages and insecurity. Things that introverts fear and extroverts enjoy. In her book “The Introvert’s Guide to Living a Frighteningly Adventurous Life” the American reports on this unusual self-experiment, which took her far out of her comfort zone.

Does everyone really want to be spoken to on the train?

Introverts, according to the common definition, find energy in being alone. Extroverts, on the other hand, recharge when they interact with other people. And Jessica Pan was often alone. The idea for the experiment came to her because she no longer felt comfortable with her introverted nature – even though it makes up a considerable part of her personality. This is initially surprising for a woman who describes herself as a “proud introvert”. Still, she felt like she was missing out: “My view of myself was a self-fulfilling prophecy,” Pan writes. Seeing yourself as an introvert was also an excuse to hide from the world.

And so Pan ventured out into the world of extroverts to do what she supposedly couldn’t do because of her personality. At least, that’s what she had always believed. For her experiment, Pan got help from psychologists, book authors and other experts. For example, they explain to the journalist why there is actually nothing wrong with speaking to strangers on the train: “Everyone wants to be spoken to, but nobody wants to speak to anyone.” Every reader can check this with their own example.

Watch the video: Shy and embarrassed – that’s what Helene Fischer looked like 14 years ago.

Strangers and insecurity – that causes problems for introverts

The desire to become an extrovert has Pan organizing networking meetings, becoming part of an improv theater troupe, performing a stand-up comedy act, and even throwing a dinner party. These tasks all have one thing in common: They are associated with strangers and a high degree of insecurity. Most introverts resent situations that cannot be planned for. So it’s no wonder that Jessica Pan keeps struggling with sheer panic. For example, when she uses an app to look for new friends and tries to organize a women’s meeting. Two people come. In the course of her project, however, Pan also realizes that the fear of rejection is usually much worse than reality. “Just trust” is the motto in most cases.

What sounds so simple is a huge challenge for some people. Jessica Pan makes it very clear in her own case how huge. Most people reading this book will shake their heads at that. The introverts, because they wouldn’t do anything the author dares them to do for anything in the world. The extroverts because they don’t understand where the problem is. The good thing about it: Everyone learns something about people who tick completely differently than you do.

At the same time, introversion also has many different facets – Pan’s experiences are therefore not suitable as a blueprint for people with this characteristic. Anyone who wouldn’t speak to a stranger in public for anything in the world (and doesn’t want to be spoken to either) is not automatically afraid of public appearances. In any case, the transitions on the spectrum between introversion and extroversion are fluid. Jessica Pan has learned to master both – a skill that can always be used.

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