“What’s going on with you?” I asked my friend, the Leopoldstadter. “Well, government reshuffle,” he said. “Again?” I said.
“It’s quite simple, German,” the man from Leopoldstadt explained to me. “The new Minister of Agriculture is now called Totschnig, the new Secretary of State for Digital Affairs is Tursky and the Secretary of State for Tourism is Kraus-Winkler. “The what?” I asked. “Unfortunately, Totschnig couldn’t come to the swearing-in because of Corona. That’s why Köstinger is staying in office for now.” “Oh,” I said, but actually I didn’t understand anything.
The man from Leopoldstadt simply continued: “The Ministry of Economics is now handing over the digital sector to the Ministry of Finance, and everything else will be merged in the Department of Labor. But the fact that Köstinger and Schramböck are leaving now also shows that Kurz’s influence on the government is dwindling, Don’t you think so? Maybe with the exception of Raab, Edtstadler and Nehammer.” “Short?” I interrupted the man from Leopoldstadt, “wasn’t that the long-haired man who married the glassblower from Tyrol?” “You mean Grasser, German! You really don’t understand anything about Austrian politics.” “Oh, and the long-haired one is Minister of Education now?” I was not sure.
Animal welfare is more important to people than fighting corruption
“Where do you actually live?” the man from Leopoldstadt snapped at me. “The world keeps turning in an electoral democracy. And Polaschek hasn’t had long hair for a long time.” Then the man from Leopoldstadt explained to me that the agriculture department had handed over telecom agendas to the finance ministry and tourism to the economics ministry, but the youth state secretariat was getting civilian service in return. “Community service,” I meant. “Nice. What happened to your anti-corruption referendum? A lot of people wanted to sign it, didn’t they?” But the man from Leopoldstadt just sighed. “A few have already signed,” he said. “But unfortunately not quite as many as in the animal protection referendum of the FPÖ.”
“What a pity!” I showed my sympathy, and the man from Leopoldstadt emphasized: “Unlike you, we mostly have very fresh people in the government. Kneissl, Schallenberg, Mückstein… More than 60 swearings in since 2017, there there’s a lot of energy in it!” “I prefer the permanent,” I said. “We have too,” said the Leopoldstädter. “Cardinal Schonborn!” And then he asked me what Merkel actually does. “It’s in Turin, I think,” I said. “Her husband works there. Are you also part of the ESC?” “No,” said the Leopoldstadter. “We were knocked out in the preliminary round for the third time. Unfortunately, again in the World Cup qualifiers. But we still fly to Qatar. Make oil deals.”
“Good idea,” I replied. “That’s how we do it too.” And then the Leopoldstadter and I went for a beer.