Boundaries, gaslight, attachment style, and other jargon that gets misinterpreted online
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Boundaries. Gaslight. Attachment style. If you spend any time online these days, you’re likely familiar with a whole slew of jargon that, in another era, you might have only discovered in a niche book or in a therapist’s office. These sorts of terms can offer clarifying frameworks for life’s challenges, but as they float around in the ether of our conversations, they’re also prone to misinterpretation.
Take the concept of boundaries. In a recent article, my colleague Olga Khazan wrote that the term has joined the annals of “misused psychology jargon”: “When you want someone to do something, throwing in the word boundary can lend the request a patina of therapeutic legitimacy.” As a Washington, D.C-based therapist told her, “I think people get dribs and drabs of therapeutic concepts or lingo, and then they swing them around like arrows.”
Today’s newsletter explores some of the psychological and behavioral ideas that many of us get wrong, and offers better ways to interpret them. It’s time to put those arrows down.
What We Misunderstand
The Most Misunderstood Concept in Psychology
By Olga Khazan
What are boundaries?
Attachment Style Isn’t Destiny
By Faith Hill
Our past experiences do shape our relationships. But we’re not doomed to repeat unhealthy patterns forever.
Are You Using Gaslight Correctly?
By Caleb Madison
One rule of thumb can help determine whether the word is being diluted.
Still Curious?
Other Diversions
P.S.
If you’re looking for some new psychological frameworks that will assist you rather than confuse you, check out this list of eight self-help books that actually help.
— Isabel