Posting a hurtful message in the class chat, sending private photos of a classmate to others without being asked or sending insults by voice message: Cyberbullying has many facets. Almost every fifth child between the ages of eight and 21 is now affected, according to a recent study by the Alliance Against Cyberbullying found out. As a result of cyberbullying, many suffer from depression, anxiety or sleep disorders. Since more and more people are turning to alcohol, pills or drugs out of desperation, experts are already talking about cyberbullying as a permanent problem. Developmental psychologist Herbert Scheithauer knows how often parents are completely unaware of what their children are doing online and why they often underestimate the dangers of social media.
SZ: Cyberbullying has increased since the corona pandemic. Why is that?
Herbert Scheithauer: Life happened online overnight, although some people have never dealt with the internet and social media. Children and young people often lack the knowledge and experience of what can go wrong with a message in a chat or the sending of a photo. In addition, the pandemic was very stressful for children and young people. Conflicts were fought online – and so was cyberbullying.
Bullying has therefore increasingly shifted from the analogue to the digital world.
Yes. It also became more visible. Suddenly everyone in a group chat noticed when a person was excluded or insulted. At school, sometimes only two or three people saw it in the playground when someone was being bullied.
Herbert Scheithauer, 52, researches as a developmental psychologist at the Free University of Berlin. Among other things, he founded the Medienhelden project there, which promotes the prevention of cyberbullying.
(Photo: Banana Design Bremen/FU Berlin)
Young people are increasingly sending each other naked pictures and seem unaware that this can have criminal consequences.
Young people often think that sending a photo of themselves to their boyfriend or girlfriend is a token of love. The reason why this is done is actually a beautiful one. But if the trust is abused, there is a problem: under criminal law, this can even be understood as the distribution of child pornographic content.
Where is the line between cyberbullying and discrimination?
An illegally published photo can already be considered cyberbullying, as it can cause lasting damage to someone. When someone is excluded because of their gender, sexuality, disability, nationality or religion, we speak of discrimination. The boundaries are fluid, however, because discrimination can be the trigger for cyberbullying.
In schools, smartphones are often banned from the classroom. Is that purposeful?
On the contrary. Mobile phones should be integrated much more into the classroom. As a tool. This is the only way children and young people can learn how to use the Internet safely and protect themselves better against cyberbullying. Rules of use can, for example, be agreed jointly. And in group chats, for example, active moderation can be useful.
But even when rules are set collectively, cyberbullying can happen.
Sure, unfortunately that can happen. Adults and children need to interact and talk to each other. Nobody gets out of a bullying spiral alone. And online content is available 24/7, compounding the problem.
How should parents react when a child is excluded?
When children confide in parents or teachers at all, they are often ashamed. That is why adults must take those affected seriously. That is a very important signal. It can help if the parents talk to the class teacher. You should definitely not raise the issue in a Whatsapp group with other parents.
So how can you help a bullied child?
Schools often do not have a uniform plan of action on how to deal with cyberbullying. Starting here would be a start. And teachers should be trained. This is the only way they can recognize early on when a person is affected by exclusion. The most important thing is that adults say: I stand by your side, the cyberbullying stops now. Only then can you consider how to deal with the perpetrators.