My daughter, 6, just completed a swim class and proudly showed us the seahorse patch at the end. Since the course took place under Corona conditions, we were never there. Now we were in the outdoor pool and noticed: Our daughter can’t swim. But she also doesn’t want to put on armbands because she has the badge. The fact that she can’t keep her head above water is because she can only do that in the school pool. How should we handle this?
Martin S., Munich
Margit Auer:
Very simple: practice! Your daughter doesn’t need water wings, but a dad to hop into the children’s pool with her. And there you play together. Play seahorse, shark, Olympic swimmer, deep sea diver – you name it. Everyone needs to practice and train regularly. And you both work out too! You don’t have to tell your daughter she can’t swim yet. Incidentally, very few children can do that after swimming lessons. So right. They can move, but lack strength and confidence. Only one thing helps: get in the water! Start where the daughter can stand. Arm under your stomach and let’s go! One, two, three strokes – well done! Little by little you venture into deeper water together. Like the deep sea divers! Celebrate the progress and rejoice that you are having so much fun with your daughter. After the summer she’ll figure it out, I promise. If you feel like it, you can give the seahorse patch a gold star. And don’t forget to slide in between!
Margaret Auer is the author of the best-selling children’s book series “The School of Magical Animals”, which has now been printed more than seven million times and translated into 25 languages. She has three sons, almost all grown up, and lives in the middle of Bavaria.
(Photo: Auer)
Herbert Renz upholstery:
I think that here you have the most important reason there is to assert yourself in all clarity: This is about the danger to life and limb of your child. Of course you make a clear statement here – understanding and kind, type lion mom or lion dad: no swimming alone without water wings. Of course, your daughter is somehow “right” with her explanation, she worked hard for the badge and doesn’t want to lose face. Because in reality she is also the victim of a misunderstanding that unfortunately isn’t discussed enough and the children aren’t told enough either: The seahorse was not developed to certify that the children can swim “properly”. It is no more than a “preparatory qualification” and “not proof of safe swimming, so that intensive observation of the swimmer remains necessary”. According to Wikipedia. The only thing that helps is loving openness, with which you explain the misunderstanding to your child, point out what it can already do and how quickly safe swimming alone will succeed as the next step. With arm support from the parents – or with water wings.
Herbert Renz upholstery is a pediatrician, scientist and author of parenting guides and the blog “Understanding Children”. He has four adult children and lives in Ravensburg with his wife and youngest child.
(Photo: Random House)
Collien Ulmen Fernandes:
Just so I understand, your daughter has a seahorse but can’t swim? Not swimming at all? I think there are exactly two possibilities here as to how it could have been. Scenario 1: Your daughter is a nasty trickster who never took part in a swimming course, instead went for a walk in the park eating ice cream, ordered the seahorse badge secretly on the Internet, possibly under a false name and with false data. That would be quite an achievement for a six-year-old, and almost something to be proud of. Or it’s more like scenario 2: I have to go back a little further for this. I saw a movie the other day. Maybe you know him? “Mystery Men” with Ben Stiller. The film is about a group of, well, “superheroes” who all have rather useless superpowers. Among other things, there is a boy, the “Invisible Boy”, who unfortunately can only become invisible when nobody is looking. In short: it does him no good at all. Now my theory: Is it maybe the same with your daughter? Can she swim, only when no one is looking?
Collien Ulmen Fernandes is an actress and presenter. The mother of a daughter lives in Potsdam and wrote the bestselling children’s book “Lotti und Otto” and the parent guide “I’ll be a mom then”.
(Photo: Anatol Kotte)