For a long time it was thought that attachment patterns develop in childhood and then shape us for the rest of our lives. Why insecurely attached people need a lot of strength in everyday life – and it’s never too late to redesign relationships.
While still in the delivery room, the mother, sometimes the father, has the newly born infant placed on their bare torso. The newborn should feel the heartbeat of the mother or father. Should smell his parents for the first time and, very importantly, be placed on the breast for breastfeeding. Almost all midwives cast the spell at this point: “This increases oxytocin release, and this is good for bonding.” For many people, the story of attachment ends at this point, but no later than in early childhood. A bit as if the need for attachment would grow together or as if we could finally get fed up with the attachment to our parents in the family bed. Relationships with other people and good bonding experiences are our all-determining basic need, and this until the end of life.