Until she was 44, Sylvie kept her homosexuality in silence with her colleagues. “At work, I had become the dodging queen. I did not answer any questions about my private life, ”she says. A case that is not isolated, according to the association The other circle, which publishes this Thursday the Voilat guide, which lists good practices in favor of diversity and inclusion for companies.
According to one investigation* of the association, only 40% of lesbian and bisexual women declare that their sexual orientation is known to their colleagues, and for only a third of them, their direct supervisor is aware. “Sectors such as industry or transport are those where they remain the most invisible”, explains Catherine Tripon, spokesperson for the association.
“I always went to company events alone”
If they are afraid to reveal this part of their intimacy, it is often because they are afraid of paying the price. Because 53% of lesbian and bisexual women say they have already suffered discrimination or aggression at work. Avoiding these risks, Sylvie preferred to be cautious during the first part of her career, when she was a consultant in hospital organization, then director of a clinic. “The workplace is already sexist, I didn’t want to add a layer to it,” she explains. To her family too, she prefers to hide her sexual orientation and passes for a hardened bachelor.
Hence his unfailing discretion: “I was a follower of “to live happily, live hidden”. And I always went alone to corporate events,” she says. If some of her colleagues were intrigued by her discretion, they ended up no longer daring to push her into confidences. “After a while, they stopped insisting.”
“I’m done with self-censorship at work”
It’s not easy, when you preserve such a part of mystery about your private life, to make friends at work. “I happened to have a drink with some colleagues. But I rarely mixed my professional and personal lives. His wife at the time did the same.
Her defenses crumble when Sylvie changes jobs and partners. “She didn’t want us to remain unsaid,” she recalls. So Sylvie, who has become a medical adviser, stops shaving the walls. “I came out with my family and I’m done with self-censorship at work. I felt a kind of relief, because I no longer had to expend considerable energy running away from the questions. The reaction of her professional entourage was up to par: fortunately, she suffered no lesbophobic remarks, no disparaging glances. Sylvie even announces her marriage to her colleagues and becomes closer to some.
Sylvie’s journey could inspire many women. Because 43% of lesbian or bisexual employees would like to become “visible”. The Voilat guide rightly recommends the development of “role models” in companies, that is to say women who have chosen to speak out loud and clear about their homosexuality to allow younger women to identify with and dare to be themselves fully at work.