It’s almost Erling Haaland’s least inhuman stat. By scoring a brace on Wednesday night against Copenhagen in the Champions League – thanks to Pep for taking it out at half-time to give us a breather – the Manchester City striker isolated himself at the top of the scoring charts with five goals in three games, for a ratio of 1.67 goals per game. He is only one more than his runner-up Leroy Sané, but also already as much as Jean-Pierre Papin and one more than Luis Suarez in the ranking of the best fireworks in the history of the Champions League. Another stat? He scores a goal every… 59 minutes and 30 seconds in C1.
Top scorers in the history of the C1
1. Cristiano Ronaldo: 140 goals in 183 games
2. Lionel Messi: 127 goals in 159 games
3. Robert Lewandowski: 89 goals in 109 games
…
19. Kylian Mbappé: 36 goals in 56 games
…
35. Erling Haaland: 28 goals in 22 games
. JPP: 28 goals in 37 games
36. Luis Suarez: 27 goals in 73 games
Disgusted during City-Copenhagen, the Danish goalkeeper whispered a word about Haaland in Grealish’s ear. The England international couldn’t keep it to himself. “Their keeper said something to me as I was replacing myself, he says. He said, ‘he’s not human!’ And the numbers actually speak for themselves.
Twice as many PL goals as Kane this season
“His stats are frightening,” said Pep Guardiola after the striker scored a hat-trick in Sunday’s Premier League defeat of neighbors Manchester United 6-3. While waiting to continue to “Brautalise” Europe, the Norwegian is already posting absolutely mind-blowing stats in the league: eight games, 14 goals, 1.75 pawns per game. Zinzin numbers, and no less crazy mini-records.
- First PL player to score three hat-tricks in a row at home
- Fastest player to reach three hat-tricks in PL in 8 games (the 2nd, Michael Owen took 48 games to reach this mark)
- Twice as many goals scored as his runner-up in the scoring charts (Harry Kane, seven goals and 0.88 goals per game. Which in itself is already very strong.
At this rate Haaland will have…
- …scored 66 Premier League goals by the end of the season (more than double Salah’s record 32 goals).
- …scored 10 goals by the end of the Champions League group stage.
- …sent far too many centre-backs and goalkeepers to psychiatric hospitals.