Does your partner systematically fall into a deep sleep after sex? This situation, although disconcerting and sometimes hurtful, is nothing personal. It’s neither his fault nor yours. The cocktail of hormones released during and after the act, associated with the physical intensity, has a soporific effect that can knock out even the most resistant.
A cocktail of hormones involved
You have barely come out of your crazy embrace, short of breath, ready to prolong the pleasure with cuddles, but surprise: your partner has already dozed off. Don’t panic, this is not a sign of a missed moment. This phenomenon is simply the post-orgasm hormones taking control. After all, we don’t talk about the “little death” for nothing.
During orgasm, our body first releases a significant amount of dopamine, causing a feeling of intense pleasure. Then, a significant secretion of endorphins, oxytocin, vasopressin, serotonin and prolactin ensues, generating a feeling of well-being, satisfaction and relaxation. Prolactin, often associated with the feeling of sexual satisfaction, is also produced en masse during sleep, which explains its sedative effect after lovemaking.
In addition, testosterone acts as a brake on oxytocin, while prolactin hinders the action of dopamine, thus reducing the pleasure felt. Therefore, most men, but also some women, usually feel the desire to end physical contact and drift off into sleep after an intimate session.
Different reactions depending on the partners
In 2012, Dr. Serge Soléru and his team examined the mechanisms of the male brain after sex to understand why men often tend to fall asleep. The results ? After orgasm, men enter a phase where all stimulation is ineffective, which explains their difficulty in having multiple orgasms like women.
Their research showed that during the peak of pleasure, the cerebral cortex goes into sleep mode, while the cingulate cortex and amygdalar complex release sedative substances such as serotonin and opioids, putting men into a restful sleep and extinguishing any further desire.
Another hormone, oxytocin, emerges as a key player in our reactions after sex. Nicknamed the attachment hormone, it is the cement of the bonds between the mother and her newborn. During and after the carnal act, it awakens this same desire for attachment.
But here’s the rub: A 2013 University of Connecticut study found that not everyone responds to this hormone the same way. Indeed, individuals with high testosterone levels do not benefit from its benefits, because it inhibits its action, just as prolactin sabotages dopamine.
Some tips for regaining all your energy after love
To fully recover, allow yourself a moment of relaxation by lying down comfortably. Take the time to hydrate and snack on something nourishing to recharge your batteries. And above all, open a dialogue with your partner to share your sensations and emotions. Make sure everyone feels heard and respected. If, after orgasm, you slip away to dive into your smartphone, leaving your partner waiting, you risk appearing selfish and not attentive… It is always wise to communicate with your other half in order to avoid any situation uncomfortable, even hurtful, and suffer the consequences.
Falling asleep that is not systematic
Sexual activity doesn’t always mean sleep. The causes are diverse: heightened excitement, an energetic relationship increasing body temperature or even bright lighting in the room can keep you awake. These findings challenge the idea that men systematically fall asleep after sex. However, if you are looking for sleep after your lovemaking, opt for a calmer atmosphere, far from sexual performances.