What do Rihanna, Bilal Hassani, Mika, Chimène Badi, Jessica Alba and Clara Luciani have in common? Success, fame? Not only. Because before being adored by their fans, these personalities were all victims of school bullying. Suffering conveyed by several means depending on the individual: insults, blows, mockery, sidelining, humiliations …
Over the past ten years or so, the number of testimonials from celebrities who have been abused at school has grown steadily. “The prevention plan launched in 2011 by Luc Chatel, the first Minister of Education to have taken up the issue, has allowed free speech,” said Muriel Martin-Chabert, therapist at the Le chagrin scolaire center. “The positioning of the stars has changed. They reveal their intimacy more than ten or twenty years ago. By talking about what they have been through, they release some of their suffering. They also know that their words have a weight in the public space and can influence ”, also explains Florence Millot, psychologist for children and adolescents.
“Often the victims are ashamed of what they are going through “
This Thursday, it’s singer-rapper Tessae’s turn to take over with her book Brushing against the walls *, which is released in bookstores on the occasion of the National Day against Bullying at School. She tells the degrading remarks about her physique, the mockery about her hairstyle and her hairiness… Until the day when she was no longer even able to cross the door of her school.
A scalpel story that evokes the difficulty for victims to feel as such and to rebel: “At first, I thought it was normal to suffer such mockery. I had accepted the hierarchy that some students had established in the establishment. I only realized the gravity of what I was going through when I was hospitalized, ”Tessae explains to 20 minutes. Hence the interest of the snowball effect that can have these testimonies of stars: “Very often, the victims are ashamed of what they live. These stories can encourage them to talk to a parent, a supervisor, a teacher… ”, estimates Muriel Martin-Chabert. “For a victim, talking to an adult shows that she is incapable of defending herself on her own. The fear of reprisals also prevents him from denouncing the facts. But if a star she admires recommends that she do so, it can convince her, ”adds Florence Millot. Tessae also hopes that her book will be able to free speech: “I have 230,000 followers on TikTok and 34,000 on Instagram. I hope that they will relay the messages that I pass on in my book, ”she breathes.
“Show the deleterious effects of harassment in the medium and long term”
As the words of celebrities resonate more in public debate than that of an anonymous person, it can also help raise awareness more effectively among abusers or those who may become abusers. Make them aware that repeated teasing can leave its mark. And therefore encourage them to control their behavior more. “Any child can become a bully because they try to be popular, sometimes at the expense of others. But he is not necessarily aware of the acute harm he is doing, ”comments Muriel Martin-Chabert. “The fact of hearing or reading the story of a star can push the student witnesses to act more in their establishment, to defend the people attacked”, adds Florence Millot.
Especially since all the stories of the stars evoke the after-effects that endure. At almost 27 years old, Tessae says that she is sometimes invaded by “intrusive thoughts”. “I wanted to shed light on what I suffered because even today, the mockery that some students endure is minimized, as if they were normal. However, they leave lasting traces, some students commit suicide. This proves that the subject is not yet sufficiently addressed in the media and in the classes, ”explains the young woman. An opinion shared by Muriel Martin-Chabert: “The testimonies of celebrities are very important to show the deleterious effects of harassment in the medium and long term. In a documentary, in particular, the humorist Inès Reg remembers all the words that were used against her years later. Proof of the violence of the shock she suffered. Harassment can lead to mental illness, have repercussions on romantic relationships and professional life, ”she notes.
“We are not condemned to be a victim”
Finally, celebrity stories can show victims that a brighter future awaits them. “It can have a therapeutic effect. Because victims often have the impression that they were attacked because they were part of the loosers. That a beloved star has gone through the same thing has a reassuring effect. This shows that harassment can affect everyone and that a form of resilience is possible, ”says Florence Millot.
“This proves that we can have a good life by becoming an adult, that we can take revenge on detractors,” adds Muriel Martin-Chabert. This is precisely the message that Tessae wanted to convey in her book: “We are not condemned to be a victim, there is hope. I wanted to show that I got out of it thanks to the help of my doctors, my relatives and my passion for music ”.