Face to face on a couch, conservation can look like a “cool” discussion between friends about sexuality. On a video published by Tibo InShape, this Sunday, the YouTuber invited sexologist Thérèse Hargot to answer all his most intimate questions. Pornography, sexuality in the couple, sexual desire… everything goes there. Complicity develops during the long 56-minute interview, even if it means complimenting each other a little at times. “No, but Thibaud, what you’re doing is great, you must be a good guy.” A beast of sex, perhaps, Tibo InShape is especially fond of subjects that may appeal to more conservative Internet users. Thérèse Hargot is no exception here.
“Couples therapist and sexologist, too. But above all an essayist,” according to her site, Thérèse Hargot has over time become a regular personality on TV sets to combat porn which, according to her, destroys love. She even dedicated a published book to it at Albin Michel, Everyone is watching (or almost). In 2020, it was considered by Le Figaro Magazine as one of the new faces of conservatism alongside the Quebec polemicist Mathieu Bock-Côté or the journalist Natacha Polony. She is even described as the “alterfeminist” in opposition to the neofeminists. However, Thérèse Hargot “is against labels”. She describes herself as a “free spirit”. “What interests me is the debate of ideas. I totally accept being controversial,” insists the sexologist from Belgium on the phone, who doesn’t care about the comments. “You, the French, always need to put labels on people to find your way.”
Alter feminist vs neofeminist?
The sexologist has a point. Even if she does not comment on her political or religious color, Thérèse Hargot could hardly deny her traditional values which are reflected in her reading of sexuality. In Tibo InShape’s video, for example, she suggests times for “sex dates” in a relationship and seems very doubtful about new forms of couple such as open relationships. “I wouldn’t say I’m opposed to neo-feminists at all. But on several subjects, I don’t feel in phase. However, I feel extremely feminist. What interests me is to reveal the power of women, to help them regain their freedom, including sexual freedom.” But above all, Thérèse Hargot wants to move away from “the war of the sexes” which would tend to pit men against women, in the age of MeToo.
On certain subjects, Thérèse Hargot makes the most progressive people cringe, such as for example on contraception. In 2016, on the RCF channel, the sexologist regretted the fact that women have very little information on natural methods. “Women will really have a choice the day we offer them radically different methods in their operation and in their philosophy,” she affirmed. A true media chameleon, the specialist will be a little more nuanced at our microphone. “I have no problem with the fact that hormonal contraception exists. It can be very interesting at a certain moment in life, the subject is not there. But it’s as an emblem of feminism that poses a problem for me, I don’t find it to be a symbol of women’s liberation.
Tensions with Stan
A debate that she could have when she was responsible for sexual emotional life at Stanislas high school. From 2013, without really knowing the establishment and having just returned from a first experience in New York, the young woman was very enthusiastic about the idea of starting. “At the beginning, I found it great to have a position, a real role in the institution on these subjects.” In addition, it is a Catholic establishment, the religion in which she grew up and evolved. “I was very comfortable in this social environment.” However, Thérèse Hargot does not find herself there. “I was fundamentally in tension with the positions taken by the institution and the values transmitted to the students.” According to one in order to Mediapartwithin the establishment, contraception is never discussed and the girls [en minorité] must dress so as not to attract the attention of boys. A manual circulating in Stan writes that sexually transmitted diseases do not exist if one “does not give oneself” before marriage.
Not comfortable, Thérèse Hargot preferred to leave in 2017 to teach classes in new establishments, mainly private. “It’s easier to organize than in the public, they are freer.” But contraception and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) remain subjects little addressed in its new interventions. “I think that the students already see it in SVT, they have a few keys.” With Thérèse Hargot, we mainly talk about pornography (which she describes as “the McDonald’s of sex”), the feeling of love and consent. On this last subject, it will mainly be about the consumption of alcohol and drugs. “Just because you’re drunk doesn’t mean you give everyone permission to touch your body.”
“Can you be a Catholic sexologist without believing in God? »
As much criticized as hated, Thérèse Hargot is a personality difficult to define. She doesn’t really want the description “Catholic sexologist”. The 39-year-old woman stopped believing in God when she was 15. “Can you be a Catholic sexologist without believing in God? It’s still quite a concept but OK.” However, she remains very anchored in her Catholic social environment but says she is hated by the most traditionalists. “I’m the devil to them because I’m pro masturbation.” Many also criticize her for being divorced while considering herself a love specialist. “It would be inconsistent according to them.”
Perhaps we should ultimately describe Thérèse Hargot as passionate about emotional life who appeals to the most conservative, without being politicized. “I am aware that I can get confused,” she finally concluded during the telephone interview she gave us.