Cancer, treatments. Telling yourself that life, your body will change. That his mental health, self-image, self-esteem, will be put to the test, etc. And what about desire, both that of patients and that of their partners? What intimate life with cancer? What if you want to continue or resume a fulfilling shared sex life?
On the occasion of the “Red September” blood cancer awareness operation, let’s talk about cancer and sexuality in this episode of Everything is explained, our podcast dedicated to sexuality and health. To answer us: Sébastien Landry, psycho-sexologist specializing in oncology.
“Sex is not vital”
So why is the question of intimate life little discussed when the disease is announced? “Sexuality remains an area that is still somewhat taboo, health professionals find it difficult to address this theme. They do not talk about the repercussions of cancer or treatments on sexuality, answers Sébastien Landry. Patients will necessarily be confronted with changes in their intimate and sexual life. Patients who withdraw (…) tend to avoid sexual intercourse, and this can create tension in the couple. »
And the sexologist to continue: “when anxieties are present, it is difficult for sexual desire to express itself. Everything that is not vital will take a back seat. And sexuality is not vital. Thus, it is very common to no longer want sex and this can be questioning. “Cancer is not sexually transmitted. (…) We do not transmit the treatments against cancer, or the disease, to the partner”, underlines Sébastien Landry.
What solutions to live a shared sexuality?
According to Sébastien Landry, “every treatment can have repercussions. Surgery, when the body is affected, when there are scars, we don’t all experience the impact of surgery in the same way. Some people will be affected by the scars, because it changes their physical appearance. Others associate scars with disease (…). And there are very debilitating surgeries at the sexual level, I am thinking of treatments for prostate cancer (…) or the cervix”.
Erectile dysfunctions and vaginal dryness, which lead in particular to pain during penetration, are common for cancer patients. If you want to pursue a shared sexual life, what should you do? “First, if possible, talk to your doctor, your oncologist, a health professional. They will give practical advice right away. If there are vaginal dryness, pain, we will advise you moisturizers, lubricants. If the man has erectile dysfunction, you may be advised to go see a urologist, a psychologist (…), a sexologist (…) to help you rebuild a fulfilling sexuality”. Sexuality and relationships that are not limited to penetration.
The rest of the exchange with Sébastien Landry in this podcast.
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