Most of them are nice guys. If only they didn’t have this sinister habit. You can’t ignore them: cigarettes and their unbearable smoke. One wonders again and again why smokers ignore the biting reality that catches their eye. Innocent eyelids twitch because the next man – it can also be a concubine – draws out a cigarette and puffs smoke in the style of a professional target smoker in the middle of the neighbor’s face.
In Germany, smokers enjoy special immunity and privileges, while in Nigeria they are demonized. I have been breathing in the smoke of Munich residents for six years now. In the same state where nasty images are shown on cigarette packs, spaces are reserved in public areas where smokers can do their filtered business. In some smoking areas there are even chairs for these scoundrels to sit on. You are encouraged to paper the floor of this beautiful city with cigarette butts.
After all: According to reports, the quota of Qualmer has decreased. In Munich there are even scenes where smokers have to take criticism in the form of looks or even words when using the lighter. Some then put their lighter back in their place. How gladly I got used to these anti-smoking parts of society.
To my chagrin, this hostility is still not widespread enough. The worst thing about it: Every time I go into town, smokers pounce on me with the same question: do I have a device to ignite the cigarette with me? I then say no and, as an alternative, offer to flambé the questioner’s bottom.
Do I have a sign of firewood smoke on my head or what? Every time I say my answer phrase, I see the dejection on their faces. Is it me who needs your pity or do you need mine? Some even go so far as to turn off the smoke alarms in their homes just so they can smoke unhindered. When you visit their houses, you breathe air that is so rustic that you immediately want the smell of fresh dog poo.
But if you think in Munich, it never gets worse, someone from Berlin comes along and teaches us better. The announcement by the new federal government that it is now also legalizing the smoking of cannabis may be good news for those who prefer the traditional Oktoberfest frenzy in the company of a rule-compliant full smoke. Meanwhile, I am preparing for an incipient chaos. Imagine the aroma arrangement of cigarettes, marijuana and beer fumes that suppresses all other smells. I do not find the theory completely absurd that the idea for this change in the law arose in a room where the said odor triad has nested because it has not been aired for a long time. I wouldn’t be surprised if the fathers and mothers of this new rule were nice guys who were very eager to smoke ganja while brainstorming.
Translation from English: Korbinian Eisenberger