I have a four-year-old at home who seems increasingly to see his existence as bombarding me with questions. My daughter Taliah is brimming with thirst for knowledge, she is in the W word stage: Why is water so watery? Why does a dog bark and not speak? Why are plants green in color?
The problem is: as trivial as these questions may sound at first, it is not at all easy to answer them in such a way that the follow-up question does not come up immediately like a shot. For example: Mom, was I in your belly before I was born? Yes, dear. Silence for five seconds. However, I wonder where this is going. And of course Taliah asked – twice: How did you swallow me in the first place? And then there’s this: can you swallow a sister for me too?
On a normal day, I try to answer all of these questions. I always try to be patient. And yet this phase of my dear Taliah’s life actually caught me quite unprepared. In my Ugandan culture, it has been made clear to us children what adults see as disrespect. For example, looking them in the eye, challenging them in a discussion or – mortal sin – asking adults a lot of questions. In the best case one was reprimanded, in most cases shouted at. I rarely got classic answers. Which leads to the problem that you very quickly stop asking other people your questions. But they gnaw on you.
Only now do I realize what I once missed. Children are inquisitive. You have an amazing imagination. Taliah’s brain is like a sponge absorbing information. I certainly wouldn’t do her any favors by ignoring her questions.
So I decided to answer my daughter’s questions as best I could. It struck me that redirecting the question back to Taliah is quite fruitful. What do you think the talking dog would tell you? What else would you drink if the water was hard as rock? Maybe plants are green because water isn’t as hard as stone?
These debates have helped to let them into the zone of reflection and critical thinking. Plus, I keep getting funny replies and a glimpse into what’s going on in this kid’s mind. Enviable.
Because let’s be honest: adults, for example parents, very often ask rather annoying – because they are always the same – questions. Teeth cleaned? Homework done? Application sent? Perhaps the fact that children ask so many unexpected questions is an indication that they are curious about the world around them. Nobody, not even parents, have answers for everything. Nevertheless, my tip is not to use your smartphone and Google whenever a child says “why”. W word without www. It pays to find your own creative ways through the W word phase. And sometimes a sentence like this also applies: How I swallowed you back then? You’ll find out another time.