Swinging skirts, a crowd of children and sourdough: On Instagram and TikTok, some women follow the traditional role model and present themselves as “Tradwives”. There is often an ideology behind it.
Equal rights for men and women in partnerships, work and society – we are far from achieving it, but we are on the right track. Or? A new Study by the market and opinion research institute ipsos shows: 60 percent of German men think that it is enough, while among women it is only 38 percent.
There is a trend, especially among younger people, to return to traditional role distributions. According to the ipsos study, more than a third of millennials believe that a man who stays at home and looks after the children is unmanly. A trend that is also reflected online.
“A woman has two life questions: what should I wear and what should I cook?” The phrase comes from an advertisement from the 1950s. Back then, it was usually the man who brought the money home. The woman took care of the household, looked after his physical well-being and had his back, always well-coiffed and neatly dressed.
Trending on TikTok and Instagram
The traditional division of roles is not old hat today – it is actually a trend on TikTok and Instagram. “Tradwives”, traditional wives or housewives, are the name given to the young influencers who see taking care of home and house as the most desirable goal.
Carolina Tolstik is one of them, under the name “Malischka” she shares her daily life, or rather: a section of it, on social media. The 27-year-old former primary school teacher has been living in Mallorca with her boyfriend for several years; she describes herself as a “stay at home girl” – a girl who stays at home.
“A lot of encouragement from housewives”
Her posts on TikTok are exaggerated and humorous, she says, and sees herself as a feminist. “I would never say that I am against women’s rights. On the contrary, I think everyone should do what makes them happy. And for me that includes the choice to be a housewife. I get a lot of support from housewives, who say: Finally we are being seen. We are being noticed.”
She rejects criticism of her production. “I think it’s partly your own dissatisfaction. Hate comments always arise when something affects you in some way.”
She explains it like this: “Of course the whole thing is polarizing when you’ve had a hard day, sat in the office for eight hours, drive home in the rain. And then you see someone on the internet in the bright sunshine who then bakes a cake and says , this is what my everyday life looks like.”
Medieval market romance for mothers
Tolstik presents herself as a modern young woman. Many influencers in the tradwife scene, on the other hand, seem like characters from old black and white films. Brave smock dresses made of natural linen, floral blouses and swinging skirts. Surrounded by the happy group of children, they stir their sourdough in wooden bowls, lovingly drape bouquets of flowers and never tire of praising the blessings of Tradwife life in words and writing.
Many of these accounts come from the USA in particular. They are often highly religious, see the traditional division of roles as God-given and the woman as subservient to the man. And unlike the cosplayers at medieval markets, for example, who take off their leather jerkin at the end of the day and slip back into jeans and a T-shirt, these women seem to live the role 24/7. In every sense.
“Reflection on anti-feminism”
A worldview that Theresa Brückner views with great skepticism. The social media expert from Berlin is a mother herself, is active on Insta under @theresaliebt and on YouTube and works as a pastor for the church in digital space in the Tempelhof-Schöneberg church district.
“We see a return to anti-feminism,” says Brückner. There is a worldview and also an ideology behind it. “Especially in the USA, it is often linked to the extreme right. It’s nothing harmless and it’s not just a matter of putting a bit of pampas grass into the picture and portraying something beautifully at this point.”
It’s about trying to sell something, says Brückner. “A patriarchal structure and a power imbalance where women are less valuable than men because they have to subordinate themselves.”
Women dependent on men – in every way
German tradwife accounts are also increasingly spreading this idea. The user tradwifefactory, for example: “If my husband says no, then it’s a no. I don’t discuss it, I don’t whine and I don’t nag. When my husband says no, there’s always a reason. Namely, that he sees my point of view “He has already heard things, made an opinion on the issue and decided. Further discussions and whining on my part would not only be disrespectful, but would also lead to a lack of trust in our marriage. My husband has the authority with the last word.”
In their understanding, this also includes the fact that the woman is also financially dependent on the man. “I’m wary of men who always expect a woman to work and who particularly like it when a woman is financially independent.” These men, she concluded, wanted to avoid responsibility.
Theresa Brückner says: “Of course, people can decide for themselves which relationship models they enter into. However, the danger always lies in some form of security. To what extent is this secured in this relationship model so that a woman, even if the “The man is no longer there, is protected and has a way to support himself?”
And who pays for all of this?
Many accounts show not only happy families, but also spacious houses, wonderful gardens, meadows, pastures and animals. A tip for the social media expert to take a closer look.
“What’s behind it? What can you see in the background? What kind of house is that? What’s behind it financially in that sense?” asks Brückner. “If you google a Thermomix on your own and see how much money you have to put into it, then it quickly becomes clear that you can’t earn it simply by taking care of the food at home yourself, but it also has to be financed in some form.”
The influencers are happy to leave open how – just like the question of whether they can get their housewife life sorted out here and there with the help of nannies and other employees.
Tradwife staging as Business model
In the interview, Carolina Tolstik makes no secret of the fact that she is financially independent of her partner and that “in addition to” her job as a housewife, she also works seriously as an influencer – like many tradwives or stay-at-home girls. “Your everyday life also consists of films, editing videos and not just drinking matcha lattes and doing yoga,” says Tolstik.
The audience would only see a small excerpt. “But everything that’s behind it – collaborations and contracts and all the trimmings – isn’t shown at all. And I mean, why should it be? I don’t think any of my viewers would be interested in me sitting in front of my laptop for six hours. “
Appearance or being
Maybe it would demystify the image of the beautiful new old world of housewives a little. What does social media expert Brückner advise parents whose children are fascinated by these productions? “Accompanied consumption or at least a conversation. What does it mean to live equally in our society? What does it mean to really look at our society, where are marginalized groups, how can we support them? How do we live it before?”
In short: promote media literacy. Because even on the internet, not everything is as it seems.