Jakob, 18, knows above all what doesn’t help, Melitta, 71, has learned to talk about her injury. In this column, they talk about how young and old people see and experience the world.
Jakob, 18, studies business administration and comes from Augsburg.
“I would say everyone has had jealousy at some point. Me too of course. When I was younger I was always jealous of guys who were taller than me, sometimes even a friend who had a cooler phone. At the end of the day, I’ve always been jealous of things that, from today’s perspective, are total bullshit. But at the time it really annoyed me.
Jealousy is a very, very bad feeling. It doesn’t do you any good, it doesn’t make any sense. Just because I was jealous didn’t mean I grew up or got a cooler phone.
Above all, I think it’s bad when you’re jealous in love. I met my girls a few times years ago, we hit it off super well. At some point she didn’t want to see me anymore. I found out that she met someone else and got along better with him. I was so jealous, it really hurt.
The trouble is, no matter how many times you tell yourself it’s unnecessary, the jealousy just won’t go away. The only thing that helps is time. And distraction.”
Melitta, 71, lives in Rhineland-Palatinate and runs a small winery with her family.
“Calmness. Only calmness helps against jealousy. When I was young I was very temperamental. There was a lot of rattling going on there. When I was jealous, it was often about friends who disappointed me.
I always say life is like a train. People get on at every station. Some get off at the next station, some ride along and some stay forever. But you don’t know that beforehand. I am gullible. Some people who left earlier hurt me a lot.
There was a wine grower here. He was like a brother to me. We were inseparable. But he sabotaged me. He secretly opened a wine bar and ruined our business. I was jealous, not of this man but of his business. It hit me very hard that money was more important to him than our friendship. I didn’t sleep for nights because it hurt so bad. A few weeks later I met him in the vineyards. I told him, “You lost something.” He asked, “What?” I said, “Your character.” That helped me. In that moment it was gone. I had to address how hurt I was. And that would take time. That was my prescription for jealousy.”