“I really want to change something,” says Tilo K. on the phone. “I want to live my life more actively again and be more careful with myself.” And then he says that you are welcome to visit him at any time. K. shares his apartment with Tiger, his russet cat. It has its place on the window sill. K. takes a seat in a wide armchair opposite. In front of him is an empty cereal bowl and a pot of tea. “I just had breakfast,” says K. He’s trying to eat more consciously and healthily. No more pizza, not so many calories. In the past few months, K. has lost a number of kilos. This has made him more mobile again. At his worst, he tipped the scales at 162 kilos, if he even stood on them. He is 1.76 meters tall and 47 years old.
There are crutches next to the armchair in the living room. The weight puts a strain on K’s knees and joints. He recently injured his foot. The pain is making him shaky again. It takes a little while for him to get out of the chair. When K. is doing well, he leads Tiger through the neighborhood on a leash. He really likes going out, he says.
There was a time when Tiger didn’t come to the front door. K. doesn’t want it to be like this again. The trigger at the time was the loss of a friend. But a lot of other things came together, says K. He no longer felt the strength to get up and take care of himself. He lost his job, but he likes being around people. Most recently, he worked at night in a hotel as a night manager. His doctor’s diagnosis: depression. Shift work, according to his doctor, is not good for this disease. K. withdrew more and more, sometimes spending days and nights in front of his computer, building a virtual life in a survival game. He sometimes sat in front of the screen for 16 hours at a time, he says. The pizza boxes were stacked next to him. The apartment was not in good condition. Nothing more to remember. The computer is covered with a large cloth.
Due to unemployment, Tilo K. has been dependent on basic security for several years. He also wants to change that. “You have to pull yourself out of your depression,” says K. He knows that the hotel and catering industry is looking for people. He speaks English, is generally a communicative and courteous person. He trained as a car mechanic and worked as a masseur. He thinks a lot about what he can do once he’s more secure on his feet. He recently went to a gym nearby, says K.
He was shown exercises there to strengthen the tendons and build muscle. “I would enjoy that,” says K. He believes being surrounded by fit people would spur him on. But he cannot afford a contract in a gym.
Tilo K’s clerk in the job center thinks it’s a good idea for his client to train under supervision. It is important to break through the system that is not good for people and in which they are trapped, he says. “Small changes can often lead to big changes.” Losing even more weight is Tilo K’s short-term goal. In the long term, he wants to find his way back to life.
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