Although women around the world are becoming increasingly politically liberal, many young influencers on TikTok want to get back into the kitchen. But the “stay-at-home girls” don’t want to miss out on a luxurious life.
Milk frother instead of a ballpoint pen, a diary instead of an analysis report: This is what videos of many women on TikTok who are not working look like. Instead, their main source of income: their men. In this online trend, the new ideal is the old. But social media influencers interpret it differently how exactly women perceive their role after leaving their full-time job.
On one side are the housewives and stay-at-home girlfriends. In their videos they show how they pull up the blinds, prepare breakfast and do the laundry. As a thank you for the man bringing the money home. Because, like an influencer Cody Alyn says: “I would much rather work for my husband than for a company.”
Beige sofas and floor-to-ceiling windows can often be seen in the background of these videos. In addition to household chores, there are also shopping trips, Pilates classes and multi-step skin care routines. Videos like these have thousands of views and likes.
Most of the influencers promoting this lifestyle live in the USA, but there have long been imitators in South Africa, Sweden and Canada. In Germany, only a few young women have specialized in this trend. One of them Carolina Tolstik aka Malishka. Before the pandemic, Tolstik was a teacher in North Rhine-Westphalia, now she lives as a housewife in an apartment with a sea view in Mallorca and polarizes people with videos with the caption “Everything for my prince” – meaning her boyfriend Georg.
Unattractive partner? “Close your eyes”
On the other side of this trend are women like Evil Suki. In contrast to the housewives and girlfriends, she does not want to commit herself to a man in order to live a luxurious but externally financed lifestyle. In her TikTok feed there are short vacations in villas á la Saltburn, preferably champagne in the afternoon – thanks to men that Suki likes to get to know in hotel bars. She says she doesn’t undertake to provide anything in return for the money that goes beyond good conversations. “The only skills you need for Sprinkle Sprinkle life are to be open-minded and bubbly,” says Suki.
The catchphrase “Sprinkle, Sprinkle” that Suki often uses came from the mother of this dating philosophy: Leticia Padua aka “Shera Seven“. Shera is married, a mother and explains how women have to date in order to get as much money and comfort as possible. She acts primarily as a financial advisor and not as a love advisor. Shera is also so popular because she conveys her message in a funny way. “You’re still thinking about your ex making you pay for something? You have Stockholm Syndrome,” she explains to her fans. When she is asked if she worships the devil, she answers: “I don’t worship a man.” And when a follower asks for help because her partner supports her financially comes up but is unattractive, she advises: “Close your eyes. Get prescription contact lenses. Everything will blur.”
It is no coincidence that influencers like the Stay-at-Home-Girlfriends and Shera Seven are so successful now. According to a study by management and strategy firm Deloitte, half of Gen Z live paycheck to paycheck. Inflation constantly reinforces this situation. Many people are pessimistic about their own financial future. The lack of money is even more frustrating for a generation that has already been forced to spend two years of its youth at home. Now they want out and can’t afford it.
Additionally, this reality correlates with another popular movement, “Soft Life.” The idea: Women should prioritize rest and mental health and not break down due to capitalist pressures to perform. A countermovement to girlboss feminism, which pushed the classic image of the “power woman”. For girl bosses, professional success and money are the maxim. But girl bosses are out because no one wants to work themselves to death anymore. But the desire for a luxurious lifestyle remains. This is reflected in the fact that for many people, implementing the soft life involves expensive bags and vacations. Something that many young women want for themselves but don’t believe they can ever achieve. Unless you have a rich husband.
Stay-at-home girlfriends have a high risk of becoming addicted
Women in particular who date men solely for their money see this as a kind of compensation. “When women have body hair, it’s disgusting. Periods are disgusting anyway,” says Suki. “If they have sex, they’re worthless. If they have hobbies like horses, they’re weird. And now I’m supposed to do housework, work and raise children while you just go to work?” In another video, she sums up the reasons for her lifestyle like this: “Currently, we don’t live in an equal world. The only thing I want to convey is how women can live their best life now.”
Stay-at-home women, on the other hand, thank their husbands much more because they can finally focus on themselves and their hobbies in the free time they have gained from their husbands. But no matter how users ultimately think about men, both sides convey, consciously or unconsciously, that women rely on their partners financially.
But therein lies the greatest paradox. Because even if many of the influencers say they don’t have a job, they are only ever talking about an employment relationship. Their thousands of followers, who generate clicks and therefore money, ignore many viewers. But future stay-at-home girlfriends without a successful Instagram or TikTok account in particular have a high risk of becoming dependent on their partner with serious consequences.
Men as the only key to success
Furthermore: The number of rich men is comparatively small. The message that any woman could have the elite influencer life if she would just raise her standards is simply wrong. The dream of a rich prince carrying his princess in his arms usually only comes true if you are already in the appropriate social spaces.
Of course, every woman can decide to be a housewife for a while or for a lifetime. However, when this choice is idealized as the only way to live a relaxed life on multiple levels, and men are portrayed as the only key to this success, a new generation of housewives emerges who will not take the time to explore their own dreams , which go beyond fulfilling a particular lifestyle.