Homework, medical appointments, meetings, outings … Finding a balance between the daily requirements and a job at times very busy, this is the lot of the fifteen Internet users who answered our call. In France, eight out of 10 women would be affected by mental load, according to
an Ipsos study published in 2018, but men are not exempt.
So, how do you juggle your different hats and make time for yourself with a busy schedule? “Usually, when it’s finally my turn to take a breather while reading 20 minutes, it is already very late, ”admits Nawel, for whom women are real“ agendas on legs ”. If this stepmother of a teenager and a pre-teen manages to hold on, others have cracked under the pressure despite their iron will. It was when she had her car accident, six months after returning from maternity leave, that Ann realized that she was in the middle of a burnout. “I changed jobs but nothing has really changed, I have no relay at home, I run to pick up my child from school,” observes this mum in the process of divorce. Today, she sees a shrink, but “the mental load is present 24 hours a day”, she admits.
“I lower my requirements”
After 10 years of career, Marine * is currently arrested for overwork. “Beyond the workload, I can say that the telework aspect finished me off,” she explains. She denounces the misuse of certain tools such as instant messaging such as Teams which induce “unfailing availability, even after working hours”, she laments. On her return, she hopes to use it on an ad hoc basis and thus stop working “astronomical overtime”.
On the brink of professional exhaustion last year, Pauline is now showing benevolence towards herself to “never come to this again”. “I lower my requirements,” admits the mother of a little girl. “The more time passes, the more I manage to admit that I have the right to be imperfect, to not always be on top,” she adds, confident that she envies those who manage to let go socket.
Delegate daily tasks
What if an application came to lighten this mental load? This is the mission that Marie-Anne entrusts to MyFamiliz to lighten her mental load. “It allows me to share all the tasks, appointments, children’s activities, shopping lists and to have a common directory with my spouse and my children,” she explains. “A solution to delegate all the daily tasks”, she sums up.
Finding an ally, Samuel and his wife could take the plunge by calling on a household help. “Although we share all the tasks [enfants, animaux, quotidien, etc.], we would like to take full advantage of our evenings and the weekend ”, confides this head of two companies. Julie, “Parisian mother of three children”, has already crossed it to manage this “accumulation of actions to be carried out”. Thus, she spends more time with her family and limits the frustrations on the exit side. The teleworking set up in his company has also enabled him to resume sport.
Esther, for her part, single with a busy life, sees a psychologist to control her generalized anxiety disorder, “after having gone through difficult years including several depressions”. The French teacher also goes horseback riding, walking and exercising at home. “Riding is my time and it allows me to do an activity that releases good positive hormones for my week while learning new things,” she praises.
Take time for yourself
Many of our contributors use sport as an outlet. Laurent needs it “to clear his head and not to succumb to dark thoughts when he is tired”. He is also very fond of music, like Caroline, whose “remedy for relaxation” is between two administrative tasks carried out during her lunch break. “The best way to get away from all this pressure is to create something,” says Laurie, a fan of DIY and creative hobbies. And when she falters, her psychologist does not hesitate to put her back on the right track.
“When I became a mother, I quickly understood that finding breathing spaces for myself was essential to my mental health,” Marie wrote to us. She allows herself “four to five months a week” time for herself ranging from 30 minutes “on her lunch break time” to one hour with her daughter “longer at daycare without feeling guilty.” She takes the opportunity to get some fresh air in nature, have a coffee alone or with a friend. “These times are useful for me and also to have a psychic availability at work, for my family and my friends”.
* The first name has been changed.