Some people are annoyed by the “best regards” at the end of a short text message, while others miss a friendly hello. Digital style often depends on age. But how big are the differences really?
“Dad, we know that YOU are writing to us!” – Berlin adult education center teacher Thorsten Wallnig (56) hears this again and again from his own children. Because he likes to say goodbye in messenger conversations with the words “Greetings, your dad.”
For him, it’s somehow part of polite interaction, even if chat programs are perhaps intended more for casual and quick communication. “Everyone is allowed to keep their own personal idiosyncrasies,” says Wallnig in an interview with the German Press Agency.
How you chat also depends on your age. This has something to do with different learned habits, explains communications scientist at the University of Vienna, Tobias Dienlin. A YouGov survey commissioned by the dpa showed that although there are clear trends depending on age, there are no clear generational dividing lines.
The VHS teacher Wallnig also knows this, who has been teaching adults for more than 30 years, including 12 years of teaching seniors over 80. His inquisitive, lifelong learners, who, among other things, sit with him in “Whatsapp and Co.” courses, have also learned to adapt to the etiquette of texting: “They often leave out the greeting at the front and back because they get used to it “We’re used to it,” says Wallnig.
Chatting should be functional
According to Tobias Dienlin, chat programs were originally a youth phenomenon, and the conversations in them were more colloquial. They were designed for quick exchange and practicality, not for formal correctness. “Messenger communication is ongoing,” says Dienlin, “Younger people often communicate more briefly and openly.”
This is also confirmed by a representative YouGov survey commissioned by the dpa. When talking to their peers, only 22 percent of the youngest respondents (18-24) in Germany say hello and goodbye. Of those surveyed over the age of 55, 59 percent do this. The ages in between also suggest that the older a person is, the more likely they are to consciously start and end a conversation. Similarly, the complete avoidance of greetings and farewells is highest among the youngest group at 34 percent, while it is only 15 percent among the over-55 group.
It has something to do with your own experiences
Dienlin describes what the generation that grew up with cell phones and the Internet has as a kind of continuous, digital connection among older people is more like “islands of communication.” “Seniors, for example, know the letter format and the telephone – communication is more closed and longer.” The expectations of communication would be transferred from the previously usual type of conversation to the digital world.
This also results in other possible differences in the way the conversation is conducted. However, differences in punctuation, capitalization and the use of emojis can often be observed in everyday life. “The perception is often that younger people can no longer express themselves properly. The fact that young people are worse than the previous generation has been true since the time of Socrates,” jokes the communications researcher from the University of Vienna.
Emojis are very popular
Emojis, for example: The small symbols can bring feelings or moods into a text that perhaps could not be conveyed through words alone. “They did not previously appear in the classic written form – they are therefore often perceived as deficient communication,” says Dienlin. But emojis also represent a kind of culture – the correct use has to be learned. Who would have thought that a peach or an eggplant emoji could be used mostly in sexual contexts?
According to YouGov, only a small minority (4 percent) across all age groups do not use emojis at all. On the other hand, 26 percent of all respondents said that they “almost always” use emojis and 32 percent claim that they “most of the time” include the images in text messages. So they definitely seem to be popular. A look at the different age groups also reveals: 43 percent of all 25 to 34 year olds use emojis “almost always” – whereas only 18 percent of the over 55 group say this about themselves.
Language is adapted to the other person
So there seem to be a few differences. According to YouGov, it is also true that more than half (54 percent) of all respondents generally make an effort to adapt their own language when dealing with older or younger people. However, this mostly seems to come from younger people: 83 percent of the youngest age group (18-24) or around three quarters of 25-34 year olds claim that their way of communicating changes when talking to other generations. However, only 36 percent of the oldest group (over 55) say this.
Everyone has a goal
VHS teacher Wallnig knows from practice that his students, who are often over 80 years old, do not see any discrepancies between themselves and other generations in this area, “they might smile at times.” But they mainly enjoy it because they can stay in more contact with their children and grandchildren. The Viennese expert Dienlin also emphasizes this: Above all, there is a need for a relationship on all sides, which a messenger can satisfy at a low threshold.
And according to Wallnig, this also applies to the youngest children: “It’s often the case that the grandchildren are really happy when grandma uses the messenger. But they think it’s cool until the cat videos come along. There are always two sides to everything !”