The Self-Determination Act is intended to make it easier for trans people to live their true identity. Jamie has already walked this path – and is now helping others.
“This is soooo cute, I love this picture.” Jamie sits laughing on the couch in his apartment in the south of Cologne. He looks at old family photos on his laptop. The 21-year-old is happy. Happy that he is now happy with his appearance. And that’s why he can watch the recordings today without any problems.
Because it wasn’t always like that. “Back then I wanted everything to be deleted and no pictures of me with long hair existed. I wanted to somehow erase my former self,” says Jamie thoughtfully. Long hair is now a thing of the past. “I now look back fondly on what I’ve achieved. I’m proud to see that I don’t look like that anymore.”
According to the traffic light government’s wishes, trans people like Jamie should in future be able to have their gender entry in the civil status register and their first names changed more easily. The Self-Determination Act is intended to replace the largely unconstitutional Transsexual Act of 1980, which many of those affected find humiliating. The Bundestag will vote on it on Friday.
Something was different
Jamie never had to change his gender-neutral first name. But the life story of the now 21-year-old is still typical for many trans people who do not feel like they belong to the gender in which they were born.
Jamie Williams grew up in Brandenburg with two brothers. The three look alike, have the same hobbies and the same taste in fashion. A happy family. But at some point Jamie notices that something is different. “The moment came when society made a difference between us. Suddenly I had to wear feminine clothes and it was said that my hobbies like playing football or building LEGO didn’t suit me.”
Jamie initially bows to this role model, not wanting to cause any problems. But the pressure is growing inside. The brokenness. The gender he was assigned at birth simply doesn’t fit his identity. “I felt that I was doing something that wasn’t good for me and that I wasn’t. I had the feeling that I would be acting all my life and that was very difficult.”
Jamie lives with this feeling for over three years, doesn’t talk about it to anyone and then confides in his mother. Jamie is 15 years old. The two talk intensively about Jamie’s feelings for three hours. Lots of tears are shed.
“My mom is there for me”
“Whenever I think about that moment, I have to cry again because it was a very emotional moment. I realized then: No matter which path I go” – Jamie breaks off and has to hold back his tears. “No matter what decision I make for my life, my mom is there for me. No matter how difficult it is, she walks this path with me.”
At a time when others his age are partying, pursuing their hobbies and falling in love, Jamie’s path to himself begins. He undergoes psychological therapy, has reports drawn up, starts hormone therapy, has the female mammary glands removed (mastectomy) and changes his gender entry.
In 2018 he started being active on social media. The 21-year-old is now followed by over 80,000 people on Instagram, and almost twice as many on TikTok. As a content creator, previously known as an “influencer”, Jamie has been speaking openly about his life for some time, giving workshops and answering questions from young people or their parents.
“I constantly receive messages from people who have managed to come out through my posts or who finally know who they are.” He has now gotten used to hate messages. This is also a sign of how comfortable Jamie now feels in his body. In the interview, the young man appears open-minded, self-confident and laughs a lot.
“I’m doing very well today. I feel like I’ve arrived. I’m the only person I have to get up with in the morning. I’m the only person who has to get along with me for the rest of my life. That’s why it’s so important “To go your own way.”
“A path you don’t choose voluntarily”
The Brandenburg native, who has been living in Cologne for six months, expresses his feelings through music, writes songs and plays the guitar. He also goes to the gym up to six times a week. He often shows his followers shirtless. Because he is proud of his male body – including his scars in the chest area.
Jamie believes that the new self-determination law is a step in the right direction. But there is also criticism from conservative circles. The vice-chairwoman of the Union parliamentary group, Dorothee Bär (CSU), fears that young people could be encouraged to take gender reassignment measures. Jamie counters this with his own story.
“If I didn’t have to take the path, then I wouldn’t have taken it. It’s a path that you don’t choose voluntarily. It was emotionally exhausting. It was psychologically exhausting. It was socially exhausting. It affected me so much “I don’t wish this path on anyone.”
It is “an incredibly beautiful feeling” to come to terms with yourself. “But I would never have taken the path there if it had just been a phase. You don’t do things like that for attention.” Jamie would like to see more acceptance and tolerance from society in general. “The most important thing is that everyone is happy and can go their own way. Why does everything always have to be commented on and criticized?”