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The first account, the child, the death of the parents: women report when they first felt adult
External chaos, internal chaos – growing up is a difficult process
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When do you really grow up? Everyone defines that differently. Some users on Reddit have thought about it.
At 18 years of age, one is considered to be of legal age in Germany, that much is certain. Age, however, is just a number. Are you really grown up at 18? Especially from the millennial generation, people have the feeling that growing up is taking a long time – and some even deliberately postponing it.
But when do you actually grow up? A user on the social media platform Reddit asked this question, which many always deal with, and received numerous answers. She wanted to know at what point others had realized they were now adults. Since the question was posted in a women’s forum on Reddit, most of the answers came from women.
The freedom to do things without anyone prohibiting them
The realization that you are now an adult and should take responsibility can sometimes be a shock. One user says that she found this out on the way to her grandfather’s funeral when she, her husband and her brother joked that they only “played adults”. Her daughter then looked at her in astonishment and said: “If you are not an adult, who is it then?”
Those who have to provide for their own livelihood and possibly even that of others at an early age will grow up faster. Many users locate the point in time when they felt themselves grown up, also around these factors. “I had to get creative to make money for myself and my child,” recalls one woman. But that also opens up new possibilities: A user finally felt equal to her parents when she was allowed to pay the bill after a family dinner in a restaurant. Others enjoy the freedom to buy all kinds of sweets (and other nice things) in the supermarket – without anyone forbidding them. Or even your first own car or even a house.
Growing as a personality
Growing up also means growing as a personality. Then the realization may arise that it would not be so smart to exhaust all possibilities. It also means overcoming old thought patterns, facing your problems and developing yourself as a person. “I stopped copying others to please people,” says one user – that is the moment when she grew up. Somebody else describes this point as follows: “When I realized that I am responsible for my own well-being and that I can choose what I want to do with my life.”
The first child is a turning point – and the death of the parents
Yet it is often the external changes that inevitably usher in adult life. On the one hand, there is the birth of your own children, as a woman who became an unplanned mother relates: “That was a big change and it was difficult to be an adult when everyone else was partying.” Another woman recounts “the first night I was alone with my first child”: “That’s when I realized that I was responsible for it.”
But not only new life, death also represents a significant turning point. When one’s own parents get noticeably older and finally die, conclusions can also be drawn about one’s own life. One user said: “My mother died last year and I identified her body so that my brother and father didn’t have to do that. I spent the week leading up to the funeral with my father. I hope I never have to have him again see that way. I definitely felt an adult there. “
Source: Reddit