My sons (10 and 6) really want a Nerf gun. All her friends have such a toy gun and use it to fight battles. My husband and I don’t want to exclude our children, but find that such realistic weapons are not suitable as toys. There’s also a difference to me between holding a stick and saying “bang bang” and firing foam ammunition from a loaded gun. Do you have any advice?
Claudia R., Landshut
Margaret Auer is the author of the best-selling children’s book series “The School of Magical Animals”, which has now been printed more than seven million times and translated into 25 languages. She has three sons, almost all grown up, and lives in the middle of Bavaria.
(Photo: Auer)
Margit Auer:
This question is great for demonstrating the helplessness of the family trio, so mine. I have three boys and while I swear I’ve never bought a Nerf gun, there’s a shelf full of these things. I have no idea where they came from! I hate guns and I agree with you. How did the pistols get into our house? I dont know! There was a lot of shooting with it in the hallway and, here it comes, there was a spectacular birthday party: A boy invited all the guests to his mother’s school gym. She was the headmistress of a school that, like all schools, aims to encourage the children to live together peacefully. The party was a hit. There was fighting all afternoon. It was great to hide behind the mat car. Those wooden crates stacked on top of each other were the perfect ambush. Somehow we got through it. Even the shelves have since emptied. Do you want to know how? One of my sons, now a student, took her to his flat share. There he wanted to have a Nerf battle with a roommate. Both are active in the Green Youth and are committed to “Fridays for Future”. As I said, sometimes I’m absolutely at a loss. But things are out of the house.
Herbert Renz upholstery is a pediatrician, scientist and author of parenting guides and the blog “Understanding Children”. He has four adult children and lives in Ravensburg with his wife and youngest child.
(Photo: Random House)
Herbert Renz upholstery:
From a child’s point of view, there is much to be said for looseness. Even if they fight terrible battles with these parts and “kill” their opponents, the “real” children are no less considerate, helpful or generally devoted to human values. It’s a game, and just as the Stone Age children shot at each other with their blunt children’s arrows, today’s children shoot at each other with foam ammunition from automatic weapons. If only the oppressive reality weren’t there. Nerf guns realistically replicate the weapons of war used to kill real people, complete with cartridge belts and semi-automatic controls. So I can understand when parents say: This game works me no joy, on the contrary, it makes me anxious and stressed me out. It might be a game for my kids, but I don’t want to watch him and I don’t want to give him space. And that’s how you tell the kids. For their part, they might reply: But have you ever played it? In the summer, the battles in the garden with the super soaker were always great fun! You see, I’m at a loss myself.
Collien Ulmen Fernandes is an actress and presenter. The mother of a daughter lives in Potsdam and wrote the bestselling children’s book “Lotti und Otto” and the parent guide “I’ll be a mom then”.
(Photo: Anatol Kotte)
Collien Ulmen Fernandes:
I don’t even know how to thank you! Now I finally have the opportunity to say something on this subject: Yes, yes and yes again, these martial guns with said foam ammunition are a nuisance. The stuff is way overpriced, the “munitions” are flying everywhere and getting lost all the time, the kids get almost hysterical at the game, and to make matters worse, all our humanistic ideals are being sabotaged. The world would be a better place if this stuff had never come upon us. That you don’t want your children to play with “weapons” unnecessarily is honorable and understandable. Luckily, as far as I know, all studies indicate that there is no direct correlation between “violent” gaming and corresponding psychological development. I plead for calm. Parenting is stressful enough as it is, not to mention that kids tend to want what they are denied most anyway. So, for the record: Nerf is a veritable plague, and I wish this devil’s stuff had never been invented. On the other hand… have you tried it? Unfortunately, it’s incredibly fun.