In our new episode of podcast Wait a minute !, we find our meeting “La Bulle”, to evoke the one-way relationships that we can experience for celebrities, artists, content creators on social networks, or fictional characters, James Bond or Arya Stark for example …
What projection on a person or a character?
While a crush on an actor can inspire your evenings on your couch, those connections can, at times, become real, and in rare situations problematic. Extreme case, that of the American John Hinckley who shot American President Ronald Reagan in 1981… in order to impress the actress Jodie Foster, of whom he was crazy.
These one-way links are called “parasocial relationships” by communication scientists and some psychologists. They were studied and defined in 1956 by two American researchers, Donald Horton and R. Richard Wohl, in an article on “long distance intimacy” relationships. They took the example of television viewers and listeners who were fond of media figures. Since then, social networks, with their floods of personal information disseminated, can strengthen these “bonds of intimacy” proven for personalities.
When we are “fooled” by this false relationship
In this episode, we are going to wonder about “parasocial relationships” with Ariane Calvo, psychologist, psychotherapist, specialized in resilience. What do we project on the celebrity? What does this fantasized life of oneself reveal? What are the possible benefits of having a one-sided “relationship” with a celebrity?
Ariane Calvo first notices that these projections do not form a relationship, because a relationship involves two people taking care of the other. The shrink perceives “as being positive” the fact of “attaching to characters, or real people, who are inspiring to us, to encourage us to grow, to evolve towards what she represents for us”. “It can be interesting to be able to project, without being fooled by what we project, in all conscience, something of the order of a relationship that gives us courage and support,” she adds. These links can become problematic if one is fooled by the imaginary nature of this “relationship” to others, underlines Ariane Calvo. She warns against “demanding that this person return something (…) of love or affection to you since it is not a real relationship”.
The difficulties of “real” relationships
“The last difficulty I perceive, remarks the shrink, is when [cette relation unilatérale] creates an avoidance of reality. If being a great friend with Harry Potter becomes the alpha and omega of my social relations, that it prevents me from looking for friends outside since I have everything I need in my relationship with Harry Potter, this is a real problem. Because the relationship is not real. And that in real life, what is interesting about friendships is that sometimes they disappoint us, that sometimes people lie to us and betray us, or that they are there for us. All this makes up a relational dynamic, true, authentic, which really makes us grow ”.
The rest of the interview, to find free in the audio player above.
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