She would have liked to come to the stand and say “that she had been strong”, “that she got out of it”. “This is not the case”, painfully recognized Cécilia *, this Tuesday, before the Paris Assize Court. Three years after this morning of January 20, 2019, when her former boyfriend Yannick N. tried to kill her, the 28-year-old young woman is “broken”. “I blame myself, I’m lucky to be alive but I can’t achieve anything”, she explained, on the sixth day of the trial of the streamer, better known as “Mr. WayneZ”. The man, now 34, has been on trial for a week for attempted murder, rape and kidnapping of four former companions.
For more than two hours, Cécilia, dressed all in black, went back in detail – hands clasped in front of her and shoulders hunched – on this morning when, without the intervention of two police officers, she would probably no longer be in this world. Originally from Tours, the 25-year-old young woman at the time came to spend a few days at the home of Yannick N., in the 19th arrondissement of Paris. It is only the third time that she has come for the weekend to her boyfriend’s house. The young couple, who share the same passion for video games, met a few months earlier, in October 2018, on the Twitch platform, an online video streaming service.
“I was doing everything to save my breath”
When she wakes up that day, Cecilia cannot find her mobile phone. She quickly realizes that her boyfriend hid it. An argument breaks out between the young couple. But Yannick N. quickly becomes very aggressive and the young woman takes fright. She tries to dial 17 to call for help, but he snatches the phone from her, closes the apartment door and puts the keys in his pocket. “He told me that I would not leave,” explains the young woman at the helm. She tries to take the landline phone, but the streamer rips off the internet box to stop her. “At that moment, I realize that it’s even more serious than I thought,” she admits.
To alert the neighbours, Cecilia starts screaming, but her companion grabs her from behind, puts his hand over her mouth and pushes her back. He ends up letting go of her, retrieves a knife from the kitchen and threatens her with suicide, before asking her to kill him. “Anyway, you won’t go out until one of us dies,” Yannick N. then shouts at her. Terrorized, Cécilia grabs a statuette and throws it at her companion, before giving him a kick. The man grabs her, throws her on the bed and sexually assaults her.
From that moment, “the violence will go crescendo “, she explains in front of the court, always taking care to call her former companion by her surname. Yannick N. begins to strangle her with both hands, then to suffocate her with a pillow. “I feel like I’m in a cage. Everything becomes narrow. I tell him he’s going to kill me,” she continues, before pausing. For long seconds, the courtroom is plunged into silence. Only Cecilia’s sobs are heard. “I was doing everything to save my breath. I couldn’t cry otherwise I would ruin my air. I calculated the time I had before fainting, ”describes the young woman. The man grabs a plastic bag, tells him “it will go faster”, then goes to get a rope. “That way, you won’t move,” he whispers to her.
“I feel myself leaving several times”
Cecilia manages to take refuge on the balcony. “I screamed for help, but it was like throwing a bottle overboard.” She does not know it yet, but two police officers from the 2nd district of the judicial police (DPJ) of Paris who pass by hear her calls for help. Suddenly, Yannick changes his behavior and tells her that he is going to let her go. “I don’t know why I believed him, I was stupid,” says the young woman in tears. She goes into the apartment and closes the window. “He smiled at me and said: You will never go out “.
The man throws her on the sofa, puts her head back in the pillow and tries to suffocate her again. “I’m in the dark, I can’t do anything anymore, I can’t move, I can’t breathe,” says Cecilia, overwhelmed by sobs. “I feel myself leaving several times”. “Totally disconnected”, she does not immediately realize that two police officers have just entered the apartment, putting an end to her ordeal. “I see the door open, but I feel like he’s still choking me. A second later, I find myself on the balcony. The timing is blurry,” she explains.
In reality, the police arrived a few minutes earlier. After drumming and kicking the door, they break the lock. It was then that Yannick N. decided to open up to them. Cecilia, she took refuge on the balcony. She was found terrified, her face congested and traces of strangulation visible on her neck. “If the police had arrived a minute later, I would be dead,” she slips, choking.
“A lot of consequences”
If his physical ordeal stopped on January 20, 2019, his psychological ordeal never stopped. The month following the facts, the young woman, returned to Tours, remains cloistered at home and continues the nights of nightmares. “I had a lot of after-effects,” she admits. Because even several hundred kilometers from Paris, Cécilia is terrified of making the trip alone to the Burger King where she works: “The journey takes forty minutes by bike. I thought it was the perfect time for him to catch me. He knew where the restaurant was, ”she explains in tears. Traumatized, Cécilia plans to return to live in Mauritius, where she lived with her parents before arriving in France in 2018: “It should have been the best four years of my life, it was the worst”, concludes she, wiping away her tears.
Words to which the 34-year-old streamer showed no reaction. Throughout the testimony of his former companion, this Tuesday morning, Yannick N. remained prostrate, head bowed. A few hours later, during his interrogation, the streamer tried to justify his excesses of anger: “She was distant, I was afraid that she would leave me or that she would cheat on me. I provoked her to talk to me, ”he explained to the court. If he admits having put his hand on her mouth, it was “only so that she would stop screaming”. “I never thought of killing her,” he said. Moreover, it was by crossing “his terrified gaze” that he let go, he swore. “But why didn’t you let him go?” Why did you lock the door? “, asks the president then. “I absolutely wanted to know the truth,” replies Yannick N. The next few days will be devoted to following his interrogation, to pleadings and requisitions. The deliberation is expected on February 10.
*Names have been changed.