D – 4 before Christmas. When you go out, freeze outside and run through 25 stores looking for the gift that will – perhaps – satisfy your cousin who you see once a year and whose last smile dates back to 2007, an intense laziness invades you . You are not alone: 42% of French people “dread” giving gifts, according to a 2021 study *. The solution to all your problems may be in your pocket. A wad of bills. No, no, not for January gifts, you heard correctly: for Christmas. Far from the cold of December, crowded shops and quickly unused gifts, it is perhaps there, THE ideal present: simple to make and practical to receive.
In other cultures, particularly in China, the idea is a consensus: it is common to treat yourself to red envelopes filled with cash on different occasions, indicates Dominique Desjeux, an anthropologist specializing in consumption. In France, such a gesture may seem more preposterous but is increasingly attractive, notes Pascal Lardellier, anthropologist and author of Praise of what binds us. The astonishing modernity of the rites (L’Aube, 2023): “There has been a revolution in Christmas gifts for several years. The days of surprise gifts are almost over. »
Surprise is out of fashion
Dominique Desjeux recalls the basics: “The purpose of a gift is twofold: to surprise the person while making them happy.” The problem is that these two objectives are almost opposites: the more we look for an unexpected gift, the less likely we are to hit the mark. Little by little, society is evolving towards “flat-footed-security”: giving people absolute pleasure even if it means sacrificing any surprise effect, hence the success of gift cards and smart boxes. “Throughout society, we no longer leave room for mystery, we are in a highly pragmatic era,” continues Pascal Lardellier. The contract of “I want this gift” takes precedence over trust in others and enchantment. »
Even before you ask, the person for whom the gift is intended is increasingly taking the initiative to clearly announce their wishes. Dominique Desjeux notes: “Gift lists have clearly become more popular, whether for weddings, birth lists, and now birthdays or Christmas. It’s common to openly express what you want, and socially accepted.”
Distance and prize pool
What happened to give up on surprises? “Many people now stay in touch even if they are geographically distant,” underlines Elisabeth Tissier-Desbordes, professor of economics at ESCP and specialist in consumer behavior. As a result, they know each other without really knowing exactly each other’s tastes. What book does she like? What series does she watch? It is then easier to ask. » Second big reason, the explosion of prize pools, particularly online. “This democratized the idea of a big gift, where you don’t want to miss each other and so you ask the person, but also popularized money transfers as gifts. »
Latest development: that of the “useful gift, which serves a purpose”, adds the economics professor. Still according to the 2021 study, 35% of French people find that there is an overconsumption of gifts at Christmas.
The end of a taboo and the democratization of New Year gifts
The 100% cash gift would therefore only be the ultimate outcome of all these causes. Especially since beyond the gift, it is the entire culture of money that is changing, indicates Elisabeth Tissier-Desbordes: “It is no longer a taboo, money is more visible and showable. Especially since it has become more intangible, therefore easier to send and give.” This is particularly the case for Laura, an expatriate in Luxembourg: “To give gifts to my family, far away in France, instead of having to order online, pay shipping costs and experience package delays or non-delivery, I make a transfer. It’s automatic, simple, and the person buys what they want. »
After months of hesitation, Clémentine, a 31-year-old from Hérault, also took the plunge and decided to offer bank notes to her boyfriend for Christmas: “He is in a precarious situation and this is the thing he needs. needs it the most. I could have given him a material gift to flatter my ego and tell myself that I am a very romantic friend, but to love is also to know what the other person needs, especially in times of crisis. »
But where did the magic go?
Be careful, however, that certain patterns must be respected. Elisabeth Tissier-Desbordes: “For example, we would completely forgive the grandmother who has difficulty getting around for sending a check rather than going to the store. » Dominique Desjeux continues: “Money transfers are not really taboo if it is older people who give to younger people, especially parents to their teenagers. In the opposite direction, for example adult children who give to their parents, that shocks more.” Another tip: money given online will go better than a wad of notes. It’s not for nothing that the Chinese put everything in red envelopes, just to hide the amount.
And the magic of Christmas in all this? “All this brings less magic and less emotional gifts than in the past,” recognizes Pascal Lardellier. Clementine concludes: “I know I gave the right gift for him, but I’m definitely not going to brag about it to our friends either. »