In the mid-1980s, the musicians of Erste Allgemeine Verunsicherung undertook what was probably the most unambitious and at the same time most entertaining bank robbery in cultural history. With “Ba-Ba-Banküberfall” the Austro band planted an everlasting catchy tune in their listeners’ brains and, quite incidentally, set a monument to an institution that is now ailing: the bank branch. The song is about a poor fellow (“The fridge is empty, so is the piggy bank/I haven’t had a schnitzel in my stomach for weeks”), who sees the bank robbery as the only way out of his misery. But fails miserably – on itself (“With my finger in my coat instead of a pouf/I can’t see blood so I have to bluff”) and the circumstances in the bank (“A granny turns around and says, ‘Young man! Please stand in line at the back!'”). The end of the story: Instead of leaving with a fat haul, the crook pays in his last penny from the sad figure at the counter.
That would not have happened in Munich today. To do this, the bandit would first have to find a real bank branch – but they are currently closing faster than he says “Hands up!” regardless of the company. could call. For example, if you live in Untersendling and are a customer of the Munich bank, you could easily walk to the branch on Lindwurmstraße for a long time to get account statements or make transfers. But after returning from summer vacation last year, she was suddenly gone – as if she had never existed. Only a dark shadow on the facade, where the bank’s sign used to hang, proves that it really existed. Under internal protest, they switched to the next best branch on Sonnenstrasse. Yes, scare! It has also recently been closed. You feel overwhelmed.
On request, the bank writes about leases that have not been extended, referring to the nearby parent company on Frauenplatz. The cooperative bank does not answer whether other locations are available – and instead emphasizes online banking.
That might be an alternative for customers, but goodness gracious: isn’t anyone thinking about bank robbers? If financial transactions will soon only be done digitally, the genus of safe crackers will eventually die out. Then who wants to hear a song about ha-ha hacking?