Damn 7
Most couples split up during this relationship year
A relationship has to be worked on constantly
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Which year is the most dangerous for a relationship? So much in advance: it is – statistically speaking – definitely not the seventh!
This text first appeared at this point at brigitte.de.
The main thing is to hold out until the eighth, the main thing to hold out until the eighth, the main thing to hold out until the eighth, … – many people certainly think that way about their partnership. After all, the “darn seventh year” is considered the year of separation par excellence! But is there anything to it? Or is the “darn seventh” nothing more than a myth?
The most dangerous relationship years according to statistics
The American sociologist Michael Rosenfeld clarified this question long ago! For several years, the Stanford University professor accompanied more than 3,000 couples for his study “How couples meet and stay together” and regularly obtained updates from them about their relationship status. On the basis of the data, he calculated the year in which the relationship had the highest risk of separation. And now hold on tight: The most dangerous and critical year in the partnership is therefore the first!
60 percent of the relationships that Rosenfeld had on the note broke before the first anniversary – despite being in love, butterflies in the stomach and rose-colored glasses. After that, according to the Stanford study, the probability of separation drops drastically: for unmarried couples by 10 percent every year, but only up to the fifth, from then on the risk suddenly drops much more slowly. And in the seventh? No kink in the curve! So if you wanted to slip the buck to one year other than the first, then the fifth – after all, the nosedive of the separation quota comes to a standstill.
By the way, there are other statistics that speak for the “darned fifth year”: According to the Federal Statistical Office, the most common divorced couples in 2017 were those who had previously been together for five years (after the wedding). Suspicious, suspicious!
When did you make it?
But how long do you have to “hold out” in the partnership? When are you safe? According to the Rosenfeld survey, to be honest, never really – especially not if you do without the ring on your finger: So the probability that they decide to go their separate ways was still around for unmarried hetero couples after 15 years together 12 percent (in the case of homosexuals only five). And: after 25 years, the risk of separation even increased again for unmarried partners.
According to Rosenfeld, married couples need to worry significantly less on average (according to his survey, the separation rate after 20 years is less than one percent), but they too should never be too sure: According to our Federal Statistical Office, every sixth divorce occurs after 25 years of marriage or more.
Oh dear, how complicated! No wonder that the simple “darn seventh” sticks better in the mind … but what do we learn from all of this? This, in turn, is very simple: Pay less attention to the calendar – and more to our feelings!