Reddit thread
Man leaves girlfriend at airport because her passport has expired
Because his girlfriend’s travel documents had expired, a Reddit user flew on vacation alone (symbol image)
© Chalabala / Getty Images
Imagine you arrive at the airport and your travel companion does not have valid papers – what to do? Do you get on the plane, or do you stay at home out of solidarity? A Reddit user faced this dilemma, and his decision met with little understanding.
There’s a thread on the popular online forum Reddit where people want to make sure they did the right thing in a given situation. In other words, “Am I The Asshole?” (z.dt. Am I the asshole?) So also a user named tawayaitalifeskills, who had the following story to share: He and his girlfriend have been together for two years. And although she has a good job and is very knowledgeable in her field, she still lives with her parents and doesn’t even know how to send a letter through the post.
“Whenever she asks for help,” the user said, “she actually wants someone to do the job for her.” In the past, she had asked him for advice on her new car, but then did not listen when he explained a few things to her and was then surprised when she broke down due to a lack of oil. But the real crap happened recently: “We booked a two-week vacation to Southeast Asia. I asked her if her passport was valid for at least a year. She said yes. When we got to the airport, I looked at it and asked found it expired. I asked why she didn’t get it renewed. Her father applied for it for her ten years ago and she didn’t know it had to be renewed.”
Reddit user: Should he have canceled the vacation?
He then went on vacation alone: ”When I came back (she hadn’t answered any of my messages or calls in the meantime), she was super angry because I had left her all alone at the airport (which, by the way, was 20 minutes with by train from the city center and has a train station right at the airport) and because I should have looked at her documents again as I know about them so I told her I was sorry but I didn’t have £3000 out the window for not checking the one thing I specifically asked her to do.”
So the question: Should the user, knowing that his girlfriend is very dependent, have to check her documents again himself? Or do you also have to stay at home out of solidarity? How much dependency and helplessness is somehow sweet and plays into the hands of men who like to act as great protectors? And when does it just become exhausting and annoying? The Reddit user describes how his mother was completely dependent on his father and when he left the family, didn’t even speak English, let alone ever pay a bill himself. And yet she managed to learn all these things. From this he learned that it is important to find someone in a relationship who is independent and can take care of himself.
The other users agree – he is not an asshole
The other users in the thread are largely in agreement and agree tawayaitalifeskills b to his decision to have started the trip alone. Especially since he even went to the trouble of informing his girlfriend in advance about the possibility of the expired travel documents. One commented: “It’s incredibly frustrating and she can’t go through her life like this.”
Despite everything, there is also – at least small sparks – understanding for the behavior of his girlfriend: “As a woman you get the idea, not even obviously, but rather subliminally, that it’s cute to be a little helpless and stupid sometimes. But in In my experience, adult men are more likely to want competent, independent women than little girls in adult bodies.”