100th birthday
“If your grandchild has a brain…”: Loriot’s best sketches
Is a must for many families on Christmas Eve: “Loriot – Christmas at Hoppenstedts”
© WDR/Radio Bremen/Photo Do Leibgirlries
Loriot shaped post-war German humor like no other. His sketches have become common knowledge. We remember three of his best.
It could be so simple: The older couple actually just wants to buy a new bed. But that’s where the problems begin. “Were you thinking of a sofa-sleeping set with retractable back cushions, a couch-swivel combination or the classic horizontal ensemble?” asks the seller, the friendly Mr. Hallmackenreuther. Whereupon the older gentleman (Loriot) replied confusedly: “We sleep lying down.” But that doesn’t calm Mr. Hallmackenreuther: “Are they resting next to each other or at right angles?”
Trying to lie down in the Allegro model – “with a double spring core with palm fiber support. The spring sleeves are individually suspended and braced crosswise, making them hip-friendly when lying on your side and on your stomach” – is also difficult. Because another couple crowds into the beds. The two couples quickly get into an argument. When the gentleman played by Loriot finds out that the two younger ones are not married, he reacts indignantly: “Oh, and then why do you need a double bed?”
Finally the two women fall asleep. The gentlemen leave the scene, not without Loriot whispering to Mr. Hallmackenreuther: “When my wife wakes up, she’ll be happy to have a cup of tea with some pastries.”
An ordinary situation can be portrayed so simply and so accurately, like this in Loriot’s sketch “The Bed Purchase”. A trendy bar in Cologne is even named after the bed seller “Hallmackenreuther”.
Argument over an egg
The situation in the cartoon is just as commonplace “The Breakfast Egg”. A married couple sits at the breakfast table – and argues about a banality. Scenes like this happen millions of times in this country, every day. With only slight exaggeration and exaggeration, Loriot manages to turn it into a sketch that has enjoyed great popularity for decades.
The man complains about an egg that is too hard. The woman insists on cooking according to her stomach: “I can feel it when the egg is soft.” But it’s hard now. The man’s logical conclusion: “Maybe there’s something wrong with how you feel.” He shouldn’t have said that. An affront that the wife can’t take: “I stand in the kitchen all day, do the laundry, put your things in order, make the apartment comfortable, bother with the children, and you say, come with me I feel like there’s something wrong!”
In the end, the woman talks the man into the ground, and he stammers meekly: “I’d just like a soft egg.” “God, how primitive men are,” the woman throws at him. This is the last word in this dispute. The man’s only option is to escape into his wildest dreams: “I’ll kill her. Tomorrow I’ll kill her.” The daily battle between the sexes has rarely been portrayed in a more funny way.
When grandpa buys a gift
Loriot captures the madness of a Christmas party with three generations in his sketch “Christmas at Hoppenstedts” a. First we see Grandpa Hoppenstedt (played by Loriot) buying his grandson Dicki a present. Or better: tried. Because even the simplest communication fails here. The saleswoman actually just wants to know whether the gift is for a boy or a girl.
What’s the little one’s name?
Hoppenstedt, we are all called Hoppenstedt.
And with your first name?
Dicki, Dicki Hoppenstedt.
And it’s a girl.
Nope.
So a boy.
No, no, no.
How is it dressed?
Pants, blue pants.
Maybe you’ve seen it without pants.
Tell me, what kind of shop is this?
I just asked the gentleman whether his grandchild was a boy or a girl. If your grandchild has a brain…
Little corners?
My God, then it doesn’t have a corner.
My grandchild has everything he needs. Healthy parents, a decent home and discipline and order.
Finally, grandpa gets his present: “We’re building a nuclear power plant.” Who could have resisted the words the saleswoman used to praise the game? “If you make a mistake, there’s a small explosion. There’s a poof, and the cows fall over and the little houses and trees. There’s always a big hello.”
“There used to be more lametta”
There was probably no one who couldn’t see themselves in one of the scenes. And with some sayings you no longer know whether Loriot brought them into the world or whether they were always there – and the artist simply picked them up.
Sayings like “There used to be more tinsel” have become part of the general vocabulary, and we no longer know where they originally came from. This is what characterizes great art. Just as many of the melodies composed by Mozart have become common knowledge today, the same applies to Loriot’s creations. His achievement is far greater than making the Germans laugh after the war. Loriot’s work lives on. His death doesn’t change that.