Especially at the turn of the year, many people suffer from loneliness – including more and more young people. In Düsseldorf, the Diakonie invites you to lunch. In addition to a warm meal, there is also social contact.
Elisabeth Niesen and Elfriede Lück are now really good friends. At some point, Niesen decided to help Lück in everyday life because, at 90 years old, she is dependent on support. But they both get something out of it. Both struggled with loneliness.
Together the day becomes more colorful. “We have fun and she’s coming back to life. If I don’t pick her up, she’s sad. You have to suppress that. That’s why we go and meet up,” says Niesen.
They met through the Diakonie Düsseldorf-Gerresheim. The Diakonie invites you to lunch almost every day. For a warm meal that should also warm the heart. It is an offer for people who otherwise hardly have any social contacts.
Lück has been coming here for ten years. “I’m going out among people. That was the best thing I could have done. It’s good for me. Otherwise I might not be alive anymore,” she says to another lady who is also a guest here.
There are many reasons for loneliness
Most people here have lost their partners. Some of them fell into a hole as a result, they say. The conversations here are good and help even in sad moments that arise from loneliness. “I feel lonely when I’m alone at home. Since we found a wonderful group here that has taken care of us, I can say it’s my safety net,” says 85-year-old Brigitte Bill.
Her neighbor, Hildegard Pankonin, talks about her cat, which died shortly after her husband. “I was in a deep hole. At some point our men died. We were all lonely,” she says.
Psychologist Maike Luhmann has been researching the topic of loneliness at the Ruhr University Bochum for ten years. The causes are diverse. “We know, for example, that people with poverty or low income have an increased risk of loneliness. People with health problems tend to become lonelier. But of course people who simply have a small social network or are single tend to be lonelier than others,” says them about their results.
Loneliness has social Follow
Loneliness is a socially important issue because it can lead to a whole range of unwanted consequences, says Luhmann. “For example, about mental and physical illnesses. But there are also findings that show that lonely people are more likely to be close to extremist political positions, lose trust in society and so on. So there are a whole range of social consequences that loneliness can have .”
For a long time, loneliness was only seen as a problem for older people. Among other things, because health problems, restrictions and of course social isolation come together in older age, says Luhmann. “But loneliness has always not only been a problem for older people and, especially due to the pandemic, a lot has shifted. Because of the pandemic, younger people, teenagers and younger adults in particular have become lonelier. You can now say that it is something , which really affects all age groups.”
Study on loneliness in young people
On behalf of the North Rhine-Westphalia state government, Luhmann examined how many young people are affected by loneliness. For the study, almost 1,000 teenagers and young adults between the ages of 16 and 20 were surveyed online, and a sample of more than 1,200 eighth graders was evaluated.
According to this, older teenagers and young adults feel significantly lonelier at 18.5 percent than younger people at 11 percent. Together with those who only feel lonely now and then, the figure is 78 percent among older people and 86 percent among younger young people.
Those who are lonely are often ashamed. Marie Martin has decided to be open, also to combat her loneliness. She reports openly about her experiences with loneliness and also uses her reach on the Internet as an influencer.
Due to depression, the 35-year-old initially became increasingly withdrawn, needed a lot of time for herself, and repeatedly canceled meetings with friends. “I’ve always been a person who drew more energy from being alone. And so that wasn’t a bad thing for me for a long time,” she says.
“At some point no one asked anymore”
At times she lived in her own world. It was only later that she realized that she was really lonely: “I noticed that when the questions stopped. At some point no one asked anymore. They met in friendship groups without me. I didn’t know anything about it anymore. Then it happened the point when I realized I was alone now.”
That’s when she realized she had to make a change. She used the Internet to look for contacts for pen pals, people with similar problems with whom she could exchange ideas trustingly but also somewhat anonymously. That opened the door to the outside world again for her. She is now doing much better. She quit her job as a teacher and now works as an influencer and gives gardening tips.
But she also uses her reach to help others who might be in a similar situation as she once was. She is now calling on social media to send postcards to people who might feel lonely.