Drugs, doping, death: Germany’s former cycling star Jan Ullrich has provided deep insights into the life crisis he has now overcome. In an interview with the magazine “stern”, the 1997 Tour de France winner spoke about the difficult time after the doping scandal, his alcohol addiction and the escapades in Mallorca. “I wasn’t far from death,” said Ullrich.
Ullrich had a serious crash in 2018 and, among other things, caused negative headlines with his drug use. Three years previously he had moved to Mallorca with his wife Sara and their three children. It was “first and foremost an escape from the dreary German winter weather,” said Ullrich: “In the end, the crash followed – it couldn’t get that deep, any deeper.”
Ullrich was plagued by loneliness when his family abandoned him. The now 49-year-old started drinking. “Wine turned into whiskey. First one bottle a day, later up to two. It was a total numbing,” said the Rostock native. From then on, his finca developed into a “party place”, “at some point someone brought cocaine with them” and that “turns you from a human to a monster in a very short time,” admitted Ullrich.
But when his wife Sara threatened that he would no longer be allowed to see his children, Ullrich gave in. That was “the only reason” to “seek medical treatment,” he said: “I knew: I had to do something if I even wanted to see her again.”
Ullrich regrets keeping quiet about doping
Ullrich also commented on the topic of doping. “Without helping, the widespread perception at the time was, it would be like going to a gunfight armed only with a knife,” he said. Sentences that he never said with such clarity back then. But in order to protect those around him, he decided not to say anything, said Ullrich. He now explained his silence as follows: “Because I didn’t have the strength to do it. My past weighed so heavily on my soul. It was so big and so stressful. That’s also why I was a master at repression for many years.”
Legal constraints were also a reason for his silence. “There were livelihoods hanging on it, families, friends. The lawyers told me: Either you go out and tear everything down, or you don’t say anything at all.”
“There was still criminal proceedings going on against me at the time. My lawyers recommended that I remain silent. Advice that I followed, but I suffered from the consequences for a long time,” continued Ullrich.
He now regrets his reticence. “From today’s perspective, I should have spoken. It would have been very hard for a brief moment, but after that life would have been easier,” said Ullrich and explained: “It has been a life of extremes so far. I was in heaven, and I was in hell. Now I’m back on earth, on the way to the middle.”
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