This Wednesday, May 15, 20 minutes gets down to children’s level with #20Minus. The editorial team has produced articles, interviews and videos that children and parents can read or watch together or separately. Obviously, we will discuss topics related to education, pocket money but also kid-friendly articles for going out, choosing podcasts or eating.
“Godmother, I’m bored. » These words have surely already been said a thousand times by my godson, aged 12. But how to manage this situation? Failing to find the right answer, I questioned experts in psychiatry to find arguments to convince him that boredom is good.
But what is boredom? According to the dictionary Larousse, it is a “moral weariness, an impression of emptiness generating melancholy, produced by idleness, lack of interest, monotony”. A definition that is not very cheerful at first glance, but this state during which the child’s attention is not knowingly solicited can nevertheless prove constructive.
Several forms of boredom
“We are seeing more and more hyperstimulated children, both by parents who offer them activities, but also because they have access to lots of possible sources of entertainment, particularly video games,” notes Dr. Stéphane Clerget, child psychiatrist. and author of Your child’s spiritual intelligence. “As a result, as soon as they are no longer stimulated, they are in a state of withdrawal. For some, it is unbearable. That’s why they say the minute they no longer do anything, “I’m bored, I’m bored” in an almost painful tone,” explains the doctor. “These are the types of boredom that we encounter more and more. These children must be taught patience,” he explains.
Indeed, there are several forms of boredom in children. “The boredom of a child aged 5-6 years old in the back of the car during a long trip has nothing to do with that of an adolescent who to overcome his boredom will resort to drugs,” explains Dr. Patrick Lemoine, psychiatrist, doctor of neuroscience and author of What are the symptoms for?. “There is the common boredom of a child with little stimulation, there is sometimes depressive boredom, it can be a child who no longer has a taste for anything and whose activities he previously enjoyed. There is also social boredom, children who can feel alone or excluded in situations,” adds Dr Stéphane Clerget.
“We have to tell them that it’s normal”
Should you keep your child busy at all costs when he is bored? “We don’t have to fill his mind with creative games, hobbies” or screens, says Christine Barois, psychiatrist, child psychiatrist and author of You don’t have to be Danish to be happy at home: Happiness is in our environment!. “All children are bored and hate being bored. But in a reasonable quantity, it is still somewhat desirable,” adds Dr. Patrick Lemoine. “When the boredom is physical, you have to occupy them in other ways,” particularly in the case of video game addiction, explains Dr. Stéphane Clerget. “We need to offer them new activities, or even impose them on them. »
All experts point out that boredom is normal, that it is not an illness. Adults must also “set an example for them”, believes Dr Barois. “Parents must also allow themselves moments without activity, so that the children see them lying down, daydreaming on the sofa,” assures Dr. Clerget. They can also tell them about what they did when they were bored at their age, such as reading or taking walks outside. “When I see the “good” parents from Wednesday to Saturday afternoon, running from soccer practice to piano lessons, it’s terrible,” observes Dr. Lemoine.
When bored, the child will draw on his own resources, gain autonomy and nourish his curiosity. “It encourages reflection and introspection, it forces you to listen to yourself, to develop your self-awareness, to take stock,” lists Stéphane Clerget. The child will learn about himself, particularly about his interests and needs. Taming boredom “allows him to think about his life,” praises Dr. Barois.
“Eureka”!
According to legend, Archimedes found the principle that bears his name while taking a bath and ran through the streets of Syracuse shouting “eureka!” “. There is also Newton with the apple and physics. It is with these examples that Christine Barois wants to illustrate one of the benefits of boredom: the emergence of creativity and new ideas. No need for overstimulation, boredom “allows the brain to regenerate itself to engage its productivity and revive creativity,” explains the child psychiatrist. When they were bored, Patrick Lemoine told his children that it makes them “intelligent”, he laughs.
“I am convinced that creativity, intelligence, genius still come from a small dose of boredom,” assures the doctor in neuroscience. However, be careful not to overuse it. “It’s certain that a 5-6 year old kid, we’re not going to let him be bored for two hours but we can tell him: ‘I’m busy, you manage, you occupy yourself for five ten minutes.” » It will nourish his daydreams, allow him to “invent things”, to tell himself stories, illustrates the psychiatrist. “You must of course keep your word,” he insists. If the child does not have a sense of time, he advises parents to use an hourglass.
Screens, not a miracle solution
“You also need to remind your children that being bored is good for the brain,” emphasizes Dr. Barois. “It will relax overstimulated children,” explains Dr. Stéphane Clerget, who face stressful situations linked to their sometimes competitive activities. Boredom is a cognitive and physical break, basically we unplug and recharge our batteries. This downtime will also promote the child’s neuronal development, contribute to the consolidation of his memory and help him digest past events. “Sometimes, hyperactivity prevents us from confronting what worries us. In boredom, children can find answers to their anxieties,” warns the researcher and hospital practitioner.
Boredom “can also lead to social relationships, to reaching out to others. That’s why it’s a shame all these screens,” regrets Dr. Stéphane Clerget. For Patrick Lemoine, we must stop filling moments of boredom with phones and tablets. Furthermore, “before certain ages, it’s disastrous.” I am angry when I see in consultation that children must be permanently connected,” denounces the psychiatrist, who points the finger at National Education.
With his grandchildren, he has even developed a technique to get them off their smartphones: he rents their cell phones for one euro per hour. “I put the money aside,” he explains. In summary, “boredom allows children to develop their abilities to dream, to create, to take charge of themselves”. A “weariness” not so bad after all.