Study on partnerships
A single word can show how happy and successful the relationship is
Happy relationship: Language can have an influence on the feeling of togetherness.
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How do you recognize happy relationships? Researchers also found out in the way partners talk about the relationship. One word can be enough.
Everyone probably knows these couples who only express themselves in the plural: “No, we no longer eat dairy products”, “We like the exhibition very much”, “We are cold”. The annoying “couple plural” seems to negate the free expression of will of partners, simple questions are only answered with an echo. Very caustic – but nice for the relationship, researchers have now found. Because the word “we” instead of “I” reveals a lot about the state of the relationship.
“I think the word ‘we’ is a sign that the relationship is getting more serious,” she says Relationship therapist Aimee Hartstein. “It takes time to go from ‘I’ to ‘We’, but it’s definitely a sign that the couple are forming a new unit together. I think it’s very comforting for both parties that we’re moving away from loners transform into team players and start making decisions as a unit. It’s a small symbolic step to show that the relationship is getting more serious. “
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The “we” in the partnership
Studies confirm this assessment. When the word “we” was used, relationships were happier and worked better, according to a University of California study conducted by im “Journal of Social and Personal Relationship” has been published. For the investigations, the results from 30 studies with a total of 5000 participants were summarized and re-evaluated. Relationship results, relationship behavior, mental and physical health and health behavior were examined. The researchers found that using “we” made partners happy. The “we” made the partner happier when he heard it from his counterpart instead of saying it himself. But regardless of whether spoken or heard, there were clearly positive connections between the use of “we” and the state of the relationship.
The “we” is especially important in times of stress and conflicts in relationships, as it conveys a subconscious sense of togetherness. Language can make a big difference, say the researchers.
Do happier couples use the “we” because they are so happy – or was the “we” used in relationships to develop a stronger feeling of togetherness? Probably both, so the researchers answer. Accordingly, it seems conceivable that relationships can be strengthened through the conscious use of language. However, the experts admit, this still needs to be researched.